Miss Adventure
by Touhou Stories
Summary: A drinking party goes awry and the heroines wake up with no memories of the day before, and need to flee from their predicaments to find a solution. Hijinks follows their every move however.
1. Episode 1: Hangover

**Touhou miss adventure**

Disclaimer: We don't own Touhou or the characters, this fanfic is purely crack for this series. they will get back to normal, but that is after the circumstances.

* * *

Episode 1: Hangover

What happened last night, no one knows, but to those who woke up this morning, it was clear that something had indeed happened.

 **When Reimu woke up** , she found herself covered in a very fluffy duvet, in fact it was so fluffy that it almost felt like a tail... a lot of tails actually, when she opened her eyes, she saw Yukari's sleeping face, way too close to her own, after getting over that shock, she wondered whose tails it was since Yukari didn't have one, with a quick scan around her, she found that the entire Yakumo household was in this bed, Ran was holding her from behind and Chen lied nestled at her toes. " _What the!_ _How did I end up here?"_ Were the first real thoughts of the morning for this very hungover person.

When Yukari woke up and saw Reimu's stunned face, she giggled slightly. "Good Morning, Reimu~"

"W-what happened last night? why am I in your bed?!" Reimu yelled in confusion.

"You mean you don't remember?" She made a pouting face, "You flew around Gensokyo and yelled, 'Yukari where are you?' I heard you at one point and showed up, then you proceeded to say, 'I want to sleep with you' very loudly in fact. and thus here we are now."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?" Reimu shouted in disbelief, as she tumbled out of the bed.

"No need to be so shy Reimu~" Yukari smirked, with a glint in her eyes,

"I'm not being shy, and I really don't remember anything. Last thing I recall, is drinking with Marisa, Sanae, Sakuya, oddly enough Mokou and Youmu. after that my mind's blank." Reimu thought about her vague memories and grumbled when they didn't connect.

"So you say, that nothing of what you've said and done, is not also your desires?" Yukari asked a bit playful.

"No… It wasn't." Reimu coldly replied.

Yukari let out a sigh, "What a shame."

Reimu got up, dressed and prepared to leave, "I still have some duties to attend to at home, I'll see you around."

Yukari shrugged her shoulders as Reimu flew away out of the door, they would talk later, after all, no places could be hidden from her.

* * *

 **When Marisa woke up** , she found herself littered in girls, and somehow Rinnosuke was there too, though he was the only one fully dressed.

A knock on the door, and a voice from outside, "Are you awake?" made Marisa turn her head and reply, "yes."

"Are you decent?" Marisa was about to answer yes... but looking at herself, she decided to get dressed, and cover the rest of the girls in a blanket, before giving her yes.

Byakuran opened the door, and came with a tray filled with fresh fruit, milk and some sugar.

being confused by the tray, but accepting it anyway, Marisa began eating.

"I hope you have had a _wonderful_ night with all your wives and your husband. Byakuren sincerely wished with stars glimmering in her eyes.

Marisa spat out the mouthful she had just put into her mouth, "My? WHAT?!"

Alice stirred in her sleep, "Mmm Marisa..."

Marisa's heart rate skyrocketed.

"Your wives, Marisa, you just got married to all of those _wonderful_ girls yesterday night, here in our lovely temple, so you are hereby a married girl, and what a lot of girls you have, not to mention your husband, and before you ask, yes it is legal to marry guys in Gensokyo. Finally humans _and_ youkais are coming _together._ " Byakuran uttered with a dreaming look on her face.

Marisa looked at her flock of spouses, and realized, that she was in for one hell of a morning.

Shikieiki woke up, looked around and saw all the other girls do the same, she then looked at Marisa and proclaimed loudly, "Marisa Kirisame! I hereby judge you guilty of bigamy, how dare you have more wives than ME!" That got the attention of the rest of the girls and they also laid claims to Marisa, in fact, it became so intense, that Marisa decided to houdini away from the temple, luckily she managed to get her broom in the process.

No one noticed that she left because of their struggle, not for a good hour or so. at which point most of the kinks of this new relationship had been ironed out and they decided to go retrieve Marisa _together_.

* * *

 **When Sakuya woke up** , she was stuck in Ayakashi, when she looked around her, all of Gensokyo's greater fairies were around her, sleeping on each of the tree's branches, some were underdressed.

When she noticed a slight chill. she found out that she too was underdressed, at least for outdoor standards. setting some idea of yesterday's events into motion in her head. "AAAAH~ my _head_ What happened? And... what happened _here?_ " Sakuya wondered, none of this made any sense.

Those thoughts were interrupted when the Fairies woke up and flocked to her side to cuddle and be _really_ friendly.

"Sakuya Onee-sama, do you have anymore candy?" Daiyousei asked of her.

Sakuya looked frantically around her and did indeed spot some candy, she then tried to give it to her, but the fairy refused, "Aren't you going to feed it to me?… like you did yesterday?" and a maidenly blush erupted on her face.

"Ehh? Uh… Sure I am…?" She gulped, she instantly stopped time and then promptly left the scene... much to the wonder of the fairies.

Sakuya wandered the netherworld aimlessly, Until someone very familiar called her name very loudly.

"THERE YOU ARE! SAKUYA-A! HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME AT SUCH A CRUCIAL TIME?!" Remilia raged with dripping venom.

"Oh… My!" Sakuya uttered in shock and confusion, "I don't recall leaving you… at all, not even why I am here?! "

"No excuses! We had an important dinner party, nothing was done, no one was there to help, not you, not the fairies, not Patchouli, how dare you desert me!?" Remilia lost in hatred, she moved in for the kill, this was revenge for her broken pride.

Sakuya, still not feeling quite herself, couldn't decide if she should run away, fight to the bitter end... or cast herself at her mistress' feet and beg for mercy. She clenched her eyes shut, unable to make a choice and awaited her fate...

Remilla was smote repeatedly by the divine magic of a shrine maiden, paralysing the vampire completely. As Reimu rushed in to save the human, who she thought was a normal lost innocent human, who was about to be devoured by a vampire. "Come with me if you want to live!." She called, but looked very puzzled when she noticed the chief maid was being attacked by her own mistress. "Hi… did you have a fallout or something?" she asked curiously.

Sakuya was baffled by what just happened, she just looked at the shrine maiden like she was a ghost of her imagination, "Oh... …Sure ...l-let's get out of here!"

Reimu nodded as she helped Sakuya away from the ' _evil'_ vampire, holding her arm gently as they flew away.

* * *

 **When Youmu woke up** , she was sharing a bed with Nitori, inside a somewhat broken room at the Scarlet Devil Mansion.

She shouted out a, "Wha-?" which woke Nitori up. they stared at each other for a while, a very long while, before turning beet red, Nitori asked, "Did... anything happen... between the two of us...?"

"N-No not at all, nothing happened whatsoever." Nitori sighed in relief, "That's good, now Hina won't hate me for cheating on her, she can get really mean once she gets to it. there was this one time, she poured all her misfortune into me so all my experiments blew up in my face."

That wasn't the image of Kagiyama Hina that Youmu knew, but then, she didn't know her that well.

They both agreed to get out of bed, so they threw back the covers, only then did Youmu see that Nitori was wearing a miniskirt bridal dress. And one thought went through their minds, " _Oh damn, something DID happen..._ "

* * *

 **When Sanae woke up** she was covered in children, she had bite marks all over her body and she had by far the worst hangover of all the hungover girls.

The daycare workers threw her out with violent threats if she ever returned.

The moment Sanae left the kindergarten, Keine happened upon her, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING CREEPING AROUND THE CHILDREN!?"

"AH... I… Don't… I swear! I didn't do anything on purpose-" Sanae quickly tried to defend the confusion that was her life.

Keine didn't care for half hearted excuses and attacked with a heavy kick.

Sanae only had a split second to throw a shield up to protect herself, "Please! I'm telling the truth, I don't why I am here... at _all!_ " She cried literally, while flying away before the now transforming human would have steamrolled her in the dirt.

* * *

 **When Mokou woke up** , she found herself in a dark room, on an unfamiliar bed. As her eyes began adjusting to the low light in the room, first she noticed that this was an enormous bed. Could easily fit four people larger than herself. But! what really caught her eye, was under a mountain of pillows and oversized duvets. Was an all too familiar arch rival, "WHAT! AM _I_ DOING IN YOUR BED!" Mokou screamed, so loud that the poor lunarian tumbled out of the bed, in fear of being eaten alive.

"Please Mokou-sama, do not devour me like last night, it was too much." The look on Kaguya's face was frantic, like she was actually scared of the girl before her, though also not unpleased.

"Excuse me. Devoured?! Explain NOW!" Mokou looked at her confusedly and with her rage barely under control.

Kaguya fidgeted with her fingers and glanced away, "It's just… Last night, there was no stopping your passion, you devoured me completely, in fact, you continued with your _onslaught_ well after you licke-."

At this point, Kaguya could not speak as Mokou's hands kept it shut, "Never mind, I'd rather not know… I'm leaving." And so she did, posthaste.

* * *

As the girls fled from their various predicaments, they all shared the same thought, " _What in Gensokyo happened yesterday?!"_

End of chapter one.


	2. Episode 2: Meeting

**Touhou miss adventure**

Episode 2: Meeting (The plot thinnens)

* * *

In the Bamboo forest, Mokou spotted an unusual black tent inside the darkest parts of the woods, after further inspection, she spotted Marisa setting up this large tent of hers.

"What are you doing here?" Mokou asked a bit puzzled.

"Ssshhhh, not so loud, they may _hear_ you." Marisa whispered and looked around worriedly.

Mokou looked at her with a very puzzled expression, "Are you well? You sound a bit... _paranoid_."

"I have been hunted by youkais, they're everywhere, I need to hide." Marisa confessed.

"Are you sure you shouldn't just go home and get a night's sleep?" Mokou suggested with some concern.

" _They've_ claimed the house, I need to be somewhere else, where they wouldn't care to look." Marisa explained in a low voice, as she unpacked some of her stuff inside the tent.

"Why are all these youkais after you?" Mokou asked, trying to make sense of her story.

"They all claim to be my wife… for whatever reason… *ZE*" Marisa told her flat out.

"...what?" Mokou raised her right eyebrow in confusion.

"Now let's see if it works..." Marisa muttered and her tent was camouflaged into the background, "Now that _that's_ in order."

"Did I hear you right… you said your _wives_?" Mokou asked again, a bit perplexed.

"Yep, you heard right *ZE*" Marisa admitted with a nod, "But why... I don't know, my memory is all fogged up as well as this head-splitting headache."

Just the mere mention of a headache, reminded her of her own sorry state, "Yeah I got one of those too."

* * *

Eventually Reimu and Sakuya escaped from the netherworld, but they were still a bit confused as to what had happened, so they decided to go towards the human village for some info… when they got there, they saw Aya furiously putting out newspapers all the while shouting "Extra! Extra!"

Aya desperately wanted to interview them as soon as they arrived, "Ahh miss Hakurei and miss Izayoi, do you have any comments about your actions yesterday evening?" ...She would _later_ come to regret this decision.

"W-what are you talking about, " Reimu asked for clarification, putting her hands up defensively.

Aya fetched them one of her flyers and with a giddy expression pushed it towards them, with the words, "You can read all about it in the BunBunMaru Newspaper.

The two humans took it and began reading it with dread looming at the back of their minds,

 _ **BunBunMaru News flash: Humans of Gensokyo running rampant - drugs may be involved!**_

Earlier this day, Miss Izayoi Sakuya was seen robbing a candy store, the owner of the store was really perplexed, because she had come in before that and bought as much candy as she had money for. Then proceeded to rob the store afterwards. Miss Sakuya was not alone in her endeavors. She was in the company of every greater fairy known in Gensokyo, (namely miss, Milk, Sapphire, Child, Daiyousei, Cirno and White) whom she asked to hold the candy she bought, before she began her robbing spree. Also in her company was the esteemed Hakurei miko, miss Reimu just stood watching with a goofy smile as the heinous act was committed. After the successful robbery, of which was a strange phenomenon with miss Sakuya seemingly teleporting from place to place, and the candy-box being empty when she left, the gang made a hasty retreat, this reporter followed them at a distance. After a long flight they flew down and rested on a meadow, miss Sakuya asked for the candy to which Miss Milk pouted a great deal, but did as she was told, being seemingly rewarded for that, as Miss Sakuya mouth-fed the candy to miss Milk in a very sensual manner, this reporter will refrain from unnecessary graphic details, miss Reimu was laughing like she had just heard the funniest joke ever. When miss Sakuya had mouth fed five candies to miss Milk, she began to sing, "I love their innocence~" and then proceeded to mouth feed an additional five candies, before moving on to the next fairy in line. When all of the candies had been distributed, they took flight again, now with a moving flock of blushing and giggling fairies. They headed for the portal to the netherworld, where they entered, and this reporter followed. There they went straight for the giant youkai tree Ayakashi. Miss Reimu who apparently had a hard time stopping giggling, then proceeded to grab miss Daiyousei and effectively glued her to one of the branches. Miss Sakuya saw that and shrugged, then began undressing down to her underwear, then flew up and laid down on one of the other branches, all the fairies then decided to follow suit, and joined miss Sakuya in the tree. Miss Reimu stood for a moment, looking like she pondered what to do next, before grinning like a fool, and flew back towards Gensokyo. This reporter saw no reason to stay behind with the fairies and miss Sakuya, who looked like they went to sleep, and followed miss Reimu.

This has been part one of the news flash, that covers the details of this most bizarre evening for Gensokyo. Your diligent reporter Aya, is on the case, and will release part two once it is written down in readable form from my notebook.

Reimu and Sakuya stood flabbergasted as they read the news.

"My!? What have I done? I don't remember anything of it." Sakuya uttered with a clear hint of sadness and an extreme amount of embarrassment in her voice.

Reimu was more skeptical of the whole story, "How do we know it's even remotely accurate?"

"I can assure you. As an objective observer. I, Aya Shameimaru, _always_ write the truth!" She declared in a high and sincere voice as she forcibly patted her chest.

"...You're lucky there are witnesses around to spare you from what we have in mind… don't count on that luck in the future though, _Aya~" A dark aura emanated from the two humans and a wide slasher smile was upon their faces, "And you better stop writing about us, Got it?"_

"Don't worry, You aren't even in part two." Aya completely assured the humans, her voice full of remorselessness, she regret nothing... yet.

Sakuya looked at Aya with a puzzled expression, "Part two?"

"Well so much has happened in the last twenty seven hours, I simply could not fit it all into one edition." Aya simply stated as a matter of fact.

"What _else_ happened?" Reimu's eye twitched visibly, this was getting on her nerves.

"Now now, I can't sell newspapers if I tell people the news ahead of time, you're going to have to wait like everyone else." Aya was totally unrepentant about everything.

Reimu made a sigh and just seemed so tired all of a sudden, "Whatever, I don't care… I'm going home."

"I don't have anywhere to go." Sakuya sadly informed the shrine maiden, "Please… Can I… stay with you for awhile?" She was sincerely hoping for a yes.

Reimu made a sigh, she really just wanted to be alone for now. But in her heart she felt remorse. "If you help cleaning, then okay."

"Thank you so much miss Hakurei. I promise I will not be a nuisance." Sakuya happily promised.

"Very well. Follow me." Reimu took to the sky, with Sakuya following her all the way home.

* * *

As Sanae reached her home at the Moriya shrine, she was greeted with some less than happy faces, "I am baaack… " She announced, but the expression of the two gods grew only darker, she felt that keenly.

"Dear Sanae! What were you thinking... No seriously, WHAT... were you THINKING!?" Suwako shouted in disbelief.

"I don't know how you managed to fuck this much up, but you fucked this much up, I tried to reason with you, but you wouldn't listen, then I tried to stop you by force, however your little entourage chipped in and overwhelmed me." Kanako's words dripped with venom, "You're not welcome at home for some time, not until this whole event has quietened down in fact."

Stunned and extremely confused, followed by an enormous amount of sadness, Sanae cried, "BUT… What have I done?" The tears flowing out of her eyes, "I can't remember and no one will tell me! How am I supposed to know what I did wrong?"

"Only by true self reflection shall you come by that answer, which thou seek so determinedly." The Gods spoke in unison, their words lining up perfectly.

Sanae knew that, when they relapsed into formal speech when speaking to her, she had really screwed up.

"You have twenty minutes to pack and get off our mountain, or face our eternal _wrath!_ " They spoke with the depth of hell itself.

In only twelve minutes, Sanae had packed and was off, still crying and... still very confused.

"That didn't go well, now did it." Laughed a sinister looking person in the sky above. She had short black hair and dark red eyes. She had three red metallic-looking wings on the right side of her back, and three blue arrow-shaped tails coming out from her left side. She carried a trident, had a snake on her right arm, and also wore a black wristband on her left wrist. Her dress was all black with blue and white trim in the middle, a red bow on the front, and a small, yin-yang-like design at the bottom corner of the hem of her dress. She wore black thigh-high stockings and red shoes with bows on them.

"Hi miss Alien, are you still exploring Gensokyo?" Sanae asked somberly, not really caring if she was being taunted.

"Oh it's you… hello Green-human." Nue replied a bit disappointed, she had hoped she could make a more threatening entrance, but she knew this shrine maiden's behavior when facing the unknown, "And could you please call me Nue."

"Okay Nue... my alien friend." Sanae replied almost to the point of renewing crying, "Come here you~"

"W-what are you doing?" Nue asked in a perplexed manner as she was being embraced by a human, "Could you get off of me!"

"Sorry, I just feel lonely right now." Sanae said as she released the youkai of the unknown.

"Go to your human friends, and… _overwhelm_ them instead." Nue suggested, a bit shaken from the varm experience.

At first Sanae didn't know who, until she remembered her fellow shrine maiden was also human, "Thanks Nue! That's a great idea!" and blazed out of there in breakneck speed, leaving the puzzled Nue alone.

Nue just all of sudden felt empty, _"What am I going to do now?"_

* * *

In Mokou's house, deep in the bamboo forest at night.

Mokou had a visit in form of a horned Keine, who was telling her about a strange green, shrine maiden-like person that, had the most off-kilter behaviour,"If I ever see that lecherous girl again! I'll bury her _alive_!"

Mokou then told her what happened to her and what she had heard from Marisa this very morning, "Strange... The only shrine maiden I know of is Reimu. Maybe she has gone rogue or something? Maybe I should pay her a visit, just to see if there is a revelation."

* * *

Mean awhile... The lunarians and their _pet_ rabbits were enjoying a cozy evening at home, with their _usual_ shenanigans, while problems came to their doorstep in form of a dozen well dressed youkais, all of them turning over shelves and rooms, looking for a particular someone, After some 20 minutes of this, Eirin chased the invaders out with the words, "You're disrupting my research, now scram!" After sitting down to calm down, she wonders, " _Why can't we have peaceful nights just_ once _in awhile?"_

* * *

And in another place in the dark forest

"A hidden tent! Curious!" Was the words Marisa heard before a Tengu with strange yellow looking camera-like device.

"Who the hell _are_ you!?" Marisa was agitated by the fact that someone had just found her secret hideout.

"A human? What is a human doing here?" Hatate asked a bit puzzled.

"A human in hiding of course." Marisa clarified and further added, "How did you find me?!"

"Well, this one did!" She flashed her cellphone in pride, "It can see through illusions"

"Great… Once everyone has one, I'm dead *ZE*" Marisa almost gagged because of the dread she felt.

"Really? Are you a criminal of some sort?" Hatate asked in hope of a good scoop.

"Nope, Just have a hell full of wives... I couldn't care less" Marisa informed offhandedly.

"Excuse me? Wives?!" Hatate asked confused, she did know the term polygamy, though she had never thought of it being used outside of scandals. She then began asking the magician for all the legal ramification for such a marriage.

"... Don't know, I slept through it all. Ask the crazy youkai loving monk… I think it was her idea." Marisa put the blame on someone else, if for nothing else to get her out of the way.

"Thank you hiding human, I'll be back once I learn more, Bye for _now_!" Hatate appreciated the the info and blazed out of the tent.

Marisa had just one thought after Hatate left, "...crud, I didn't think this through… I hate news reporters."

Somehow she knew, once that story was made public, Hatate would spill the beans about her current whereabouts, so she might as well pack up now and move somewhere else, "Gotta be _real_ careful about this…"


	3. Episode 3: The Gathering

**Touhou miss adventure**

Episode 3: The Gathering

* * *

Two girls entered the shrine, tired and confused.

"I'm going to bed." Reimu mumbled as they walked.

"Where can I sleep?" Sakuya asked of her host, before the shrine maiden could collapse in her bed.

Reimu just returned an indifferent gaze and yawned, "Wherever you like, I don't care."

It took a little while for Sakuya to find the things, she would need to assemble her own bed. She decided the living room to be the best choice for sleeping. Despite it still being daytime, she was exhausted enough that sleep came quickly to her.

Sakuya did eventually fall asleep, but was awoken by someone shouting outside.

"ANYONE HOME?!" The Green shrine maiden shouted. As both Reimu and Sakuya opened the front door, to graze her with a disinterested look. But, both were surprised to see the rival shrine maiden in tears.

"Something wrong?!" Reimu asked puzzled, "Why are you crying?" Sakuya added, sounding way more worried.

"I've been banished by my deity! A-and I don't know _why_!" Sanae cried, she lowered her head as she humbly begged, "Ple-ease can I stay here?"

Reimu was a bit dumbstruck. She couldn't remember when the last time a person came to her, pleading like this. "I'll give you the same condition as Sakuya, Help me with my daily chores, than you can stay."

Sanae was so happy that she kissed Reimu on the cheek and hugged her tightly, "Thank you SO MUCH!"

" _Don't_ do that again." Reimu just replied irritably, as she tried to distance herself from her green counterpart.

"Sorry." Sanae muttered sadly and let Reimu go.

Sakuya came closer to the green shrine maiden to speak in a low voice, "You are not the only one who is homeless for the time being."

"Really?" Sanae asked as a reply while sniffed. Whereafter the two began to tell their stories, while Reimu just went to make some tea.

* * *

After more idle chatter, a knock was heard at the door, When Reimu opened, Mokou was standing outside, "Yo, you got room for one to a tea party?" She then gazed at the other two guests, "Oh I see you already have company."

The two S's too looked at the fourth newcomer from the inside of the door.

"So what brings you here?" Reimu asked as she invited the Phoenix to a cup of tea.

Mokou considered how best she should phrase it, "Just a few weird rumors there have been going on, regarding the events of our drinking…"

Reimu raised an eyebrow, "Do you remember anything?" When Mokou shook her head, Reimu snorted in an indifferent tone, "Well good luck with this discussion, none of us remembers a thing."

* * *

With a sudden and loud slam, Marisa opened the door, shouted inside, "Reimu, hide me!"

Reimu raised an eyebrow and asked dryly, "...Why?"

"Because a lot of girls can't resist my sweet behi-" Marisa stated directly as a matter of fact.

"Is she sarcastic?" Sanae asked Reimu; a bit puzzled.

"I don't _think_ so." Sakuya answered as this seemed somewhat different.

Reimu sighed heavily, "What _is_ the matter, Marisa?"

"Yeah, so see, I woke up with a hangover, and I'm buried in a pile of naked girls, and when they woke up, they started this _huge_ fight over me." Marisa's demeanor was still jolly and confident.

"What _else_ is new?" Reimu rolled her eyes, this was how typical drinking parties went when Marisa was present.

"What do you mean, ' _what else is new,'_ This is a huge deal." Marisa protested profoundly.

"Marisa, this is how it's always been…" Reimu was about to go on a tangent about the topic, when a jarring thought occurred to her, "Wait, you mean you don't know? All this time, you've had a womanizing addiction without knowing it?!"

"What are you getting at?" Marisa replied for further clarification.

"You've always seduced women around you. Are you seriously telling me it was never intentional?" Mokou asked in return, _"I was dead sure she was a lesbian."_

"Err… No I haven't?" For a moment Marisa faltered, This was _not_ how this conversation was supposed to go.

From both Reimu, Sakuya and Mokou's mouths, the words, "Totally have." Came without warning.

"You've tried to score me a few times in the past, oh how I almost fell for it one of those times." A rosy maiden-like blush erupted on Sakuya's cheeks as she put a hand to it.

Of course she was overplaying her part, it was all to get a reaction out of Marisa, who instantly turned pale.

"Just kidding~" She tried to play it off, but a few nostalgic feelings about the incidents did stir in her heart, " _There was a time…"_

After forcing her mind to function again, Marisa shook her head and started over, "N-never mind all of that, the point is, I was married to a bunch of girls, and they are currently on my trail."

"Wait what?!" Was Reimu's instantaneous answer. While Sakuya stood speechless.

"You are married?!" Sanae asked with wide eyes.

Mokou chucked a little as she replied, "...That's new. I never thought of you as the type to settle down and be wedded."

"Yeah, it wasn't really my choice either, I was incredibly drunk, during the actual ceremony. But Byakuren says it's for real, so..." Marisa verified the info.

"Byakuren? if you're gonna be wed for real, come to me instead, okay!" Sanae took Marisa's hand and gave her a puppy-eyed look.

Reimu slammed the table they sat at, "Hey now, If anyone is gonna oversee the marriage of the Incorrigible Bachelorette, it's gotta be me."

"You were too busy chasing Yukari to perform the ceremony anyway." Marisa casually brushed her off.

"How do you even-" Reimu was about to question her, but she got interrupted.

"Aya's newspaper." Marisa's answer was short and to the point, specifically because she knew it would irritate Reimu.

"...I'm gonna kill that tengu." Reimu cursed, as her veins became visible on her right fist.

"Speaking off… didn't she say that a part two would come out?" Sakuya thought back to their encounter.

As soon as Sakuya had uttered those words, a newspaper flopped in the crevice of the door and a voice could be heard, "Extra, Extra, read part two of the infamous feast of the youkai hunters."

"Well… You have your chance now *ZE*" Marisa grinned widely.

Reimu growled at the remark, as she hurried outside to see a newspaper lying right in front of the doorstep. She spotted Aya and a vein in her temple began to throb, "Oh you're going to get it now, Tengu!"

As Reimu sped off into the distance at neck-break speed, Sakuya took the newspaper and read the title, "Oh my, it seems like this article is about you Marisa … _you_ might want to stop miss Shameimaru from spreading this news, otherwise your situation could become much worse."

Marisa quickly glanced at the article, "...Well, I'm going on a tengu hunt. I'll be back, *ZE*" She grabbed her broom and sped after Reimu.

"...What _did_ the article say?" Sanae scooted closer to Sakuya. With Mokou looking over their shoulders.

" _My_ this is a strange one… " Sakuya said in state of surprise, "Well~"

* * *

 _This is Aya of the Bunbunmaru Newspaper, This story featuring Marisa Kirisame, friends with the Hakurei shrine maiden mentioned in yesterday's article._

 _Miss Kirisame's story starts before miss Hakurei's, however it is a longer tale by far. It all started when miss Kirisame decided to experiment with brewing mushroom liquor, the drink had a variety of different mushrooms in it, and which one caused the intoxication is unknown to this reporter. However, miss Kirisame was proud of her achievement when she brought the drink before the party goers, "This is the best drink you'll will ever have." Is what she said. After a few swigs, everyone began to merrily sing and dance. Yet this reporter, did not partake, after a keen moment of observation made her realize how grand a scoop this would be. It started out small as Miss Margatroid became playful and flirted with miss Kirisame, but because of her current condition, miss Kirisame uttered in a grand voice, "Alice, be my bride." Miss Margatroid fluttered her eyelashes and said in a bewildered voice, "Y-you're just saying that, you tease." A few seconds passed by in silence as miss Kirisame sat in contemplation, "Alright, I've made up my mind, Alice!" She stood up and yanked miss Margatroid into her embrace, "Let's go get married, RIGHT NOW! *ZE*" Miss Kirisame ran towards miss Hakurei, "Reimu, Perform the marriage ceremony for us." This, however, resulted in miss Hakurei laughing uncontrollably and dismissing the request. "Fine, I'll go to someone who will wed us." Miss Kirisame summoned her broom and went towards Myouren Temple. After talking animatedly with the priestess Byakuren Hijiri, the two were ushered into the chapel and made their vows, it was a touching scene, this reporter shed a tear. And so the story of the Eternal Bachelorette of Gensokyo came to a beautiful end… or so this reporter thought, Not long after, 'missus' Kirisame yanked miss Knowledge and 'misssus' Knowledge, neé Koakuma, into the temple for yet another ceremony, The priestess was very enthusiastic about wedding miss Knowledge and miss Koakuma. yet when 'missus' Kirisame shouted, "Darnit Patchy let's also get married!" Miss Hijiri, grew concerned and a bit frantic. Yet with her notorious silver tongue, 'missus' Kirisame persuaded the priestess with the words, "Marrying more than one girl is only limited to how strong your love is, *ZE*" 'Missus' Kirisame made a quick pose, "And I'm the LOVE magician, so I have tons of Love Power." Miss Hijiri was very moved. After the next set of marriages this reporter gave up trying to follow the story, the final amount of spouses married to 'missus' Kirisame ended up being nine people in total. Carrying on from the wedding of 'missus' Kirisame and 'missus' Knowledge, there was quite a crowd, and the humans among that crowd, decided to go on an adventure together, yours truly, wouldn't miss it for the world. Their first stop will be covered in the next article, this is Shameimaru Aya, reporting the truth._

"OH… my." was the only thing Sakuya could utter, with agreeing nods coming from Sanae and Mokou.

* * *

In the meantime. Reimu and Marisa was going at full speed to catch up with the tengu. But to their surprise, Aya didn't try to flee, "So~ did you like my article?" She just asked casually as the two humans came within earshot.

Marisa was the first to yell out her complaints, "Are you trying to make me look bad; you'll make me cry… if you were a good lil' bird, you would apologize to me~... *ZE*"

Aya's charisma radiated sincerity, "I never apologise for the truth." She did not know it yet, but those remarks would later be something she felt regrets about...

That remark hit a nerve with Marisa and she began to shoot Danmaku at the infuriating Tengu.

Aya quickly made a steep dive to avoid being hit by shining stars, and that signalled the start of the battle, Reimu jumped in quickly and their combined attacks made for a very pretty light show, and was about as effective as one.

That light show gathered a lot of attention from afar, so not even three minutes after they started, did someone shout very loudly from far away, "THERE SHE IS!"

When Marisa turned her head in the direction of the shout, her blood froze, "Oh crap! I completely forgot that I had to hide… Reimu! Let's retreat for now, and on the double."

Reimu also noticed the beings, coming to life from a nearby forest. She decided to heed the warning to assess the situation from a better place.

Aya could see the humans being chased by a number of dangerous youkais, with only one thought on her mind, "This could be interesting."

But to both of the humans' dismay… the pursuers were fast, they couldn't possibly shake them off or hide on such a short notice. They both decided to take refuge at the shrine and possibly get their own visitors to help fight off their pursuers...

The shrine was surrounded by seven wives, oh and a bound Rinnosuke. All of them chanting, "GIVE US MARISA! GIVE US MARISA! GIVE US MARISA!"

"OH My!" Sakuya uttered, staring out of window in pure disbelief, not only were there many youkais, but Marisa had managed to wed some of the most _dangerous_ youkais in Gensokyo. She saw Alice, Yuuka and even the evil spirit Mima, that supposedly taught Marisa everything she knew about magic... even her former house mates Patchouli and Flandre were among them.

Sanae also looked outside the room at the incoming group, "Ohh~ I see Koishi and Parsee."

Mokou shook her head, "Marisa… You have outdone yourself… Not once, in all my eternal years, have I seen such a varied collection of wives... I hope you're happy with your decision." She commented dryly.

"Marriage is something that requires a lot of thought before choosing." Sanae added with a smile.

"I hate being married." Marisa somberly admitted as she cowered behind her comrades.

"Let me handle it! I'll make you a young widow!" Mokou replied and determinedly went out to beat the youkais.

"Nice! Free stuff." Marisa pumped her fist into the air.

Sakuya gave her a raised eyebrow and uttered in distaste "...You are despicable sometimes, Marisa."

"...What?" Marisa responded in a flat voice.

Looking out of the window. it looked as if a swarm of hornets was overwhelming a single firefly. "...Immortality makes you careless... At least it gives us time to think of an exit plan." Reimu muttered in a nonchalant tone.

Sanae stood with her hand on her chin in contemplation, "...If we just give them Marisa, won't they stop attacking us?"

Reimu put her closed fist into her hand and made an expression of enlightenment, "...Good point, Let's throw the bait."

" OH, COME OOOOON GIRLS!" Marisa cried in despair, "We are friends... _Right_?"

Mokou came back in... she looked like she had been target practice for a gatling gun. With next to no cloth lift to speak off, "I died eleven times… I can't take them." She sighed and collapsed on the floor.

Sakuya quickly ran over to catch Mokou and help her but as she arrived at her side, she looked up and saw the final wife looming above... Shiki Eiki had arrived. She was completely speechless, how was this _happening_ right now?

"That can't be true! In the name of the gods! Marisa have you seriously married a YAMA!" Sanae nearly screamed the last part, as all the cards were now seriously stacked against them.

Reimu looked at the newcomer and raised an eyebrow, "...Dips on not fighting her…"

With the looming fight over their head, that was now eight versus four against their odds, all of the four standing humans, knew they were in a dire pinch. With a Tengu taking pictures from above and preparing for the inevitable battle scoop to begin...


	4. Episode 4: Escape

**Touhou miss adventure**

Episode 4: Escaping

* * *

At the Hakurei Shrine plateau. The situation was tense, as all four humans looked up at the overwhelming situation they found themselves in.

Mokou, the fifth human, was slowly coming back to her senses, after a lengthy beating by the bridezilla mob.

"WHY DID YOU _HAVE_ TO MARRY _HER_ OF ALL PEOPLE!?" Reimu and Mokou shouted in perfectly frustrated unison as they pointed at the mighty Yama.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Marisa shouted back in confusion.

"Hell knoweth no fury, like a woman scorned." Sanae chuckled a little, while the ground beneath her was being torn apart.

"We need to escape! And fast. I don't want to be buzzed around by angry women." Marisa peeked behind them at the following bridezillas with a worried look.

"That's what marriage is all about, Marisa!" Mokou gave her a glare, while getting back up on her feet.

Before Marisa could come with a comeback, Sakuya intervened, "Where do we go from here?"

"Where they can't follow..." Reimu determinedly replied, "Hold them at bay for five minutes and I'll get us out of here."

"Sanae! Make a shield around us, while I sped up time for Reimu." Sakuya quickly coordinated. Hoping Reimu's undefined plan would get them all out of harm's way.

Sanae instantly did as she was told, while Marisa was being chased around in circles.

"When I say now. All of you get around me!" Reimu commanded with a quick nod of acknowledgement from her remaining human allies.

At that time, an _alien_ looking girl came to see what the fuss was about. She could sense something was going on as she had been getting closer, she could hear shouts and see battle in the distance. Now that she was here, she spotted both the Green and Red shrine maidens, with that black and white Magician being chased around in circles. "So... what's going on?" She casually asked everyone around.

"STAY OUT OF THIS STRANGER!" Some of the brides shouted in unison, "Marisa is _ours!_ "

"... _What_?" Was the only thing Nue could reply with. The situation made no sense to her mind.

It was Sanae who looked up to her alien friend and clarified, "Hi Miss Alien, we are trying to save Marisa from all these Brides... For reasons, wanna join?"

"Not to take this the wrong way... But you seem _pretty-much_ outmatched from where I look." Nue pointed out, sarcastically.

" _We_ KNOW!" Reimu snapped at her, still trying to concentrate on her own preparations.

"HEY! don't _snap_ at my alien friend! Nue is a _good_ alien." Sanae sounded kind of hurt, but she was also passionately defending her friend.

Reimu shook her head, "Sanae. Can we discuss this another time! And she is not an alien, she is a _nue._ "

"Yep, that's her name." Sanae agreeing to the statement.

" _...Not dignifying that._ " Reimu looked away and ignored her.

Marisa was doing a HELL of a job to keep her wives from catching her... But, she was running dangerously low on her weapon supplies and tricks. _"I hope Reimu can get me out of here in a minute, tops two… or I will be introduced to several families in very short order!"_ A shiver ran down her back, from the mere thought alone.

Sanae in the meantime was taking a beating on her shield, in form of elemental attacks from Patchouli and laserbeams from Shiki. "Please hurry Reimu, I don't know how long I can keep this up." Sanae uttered very worriedly, as she concentrated as much energy as she possibly could into the shield.

Mokou wanted to help, but she was out of energy after being disintegrated a couple of times, and Sakuya was helping Reimu literally speeding up her work.

To Marisa's horror, her broom was hit by one of Alice's laser beams, resulting in Marisa crashing to the ground, "Game Over, Girl, Game Over." Marisa thought to herself as Alice, Yuuka and Parsee threw themselves at her.

But a gentle hand grabbed her arm and suddenly she was looking up at Sakuya within Sanae's divine energy field, "Thanks girl, you saved my virginity."

"You are very welcome." Sakuya said with a sweet smile.

Reimu turned her head and shouted from the corner, where she sat working, "Yeah, not buying _that_ story."

"Me neither." Mokou nodded in agreement as she finally had the energy to stand up again.

"REIMU! Whatever you are going to do, DO IT NOW! My shield can't hold on any longer!" Sanae screamed as her shield was breaking apart because of the bombardment from the youkais' collective danmaku artillery.

"Just a minute!" Reimu quickly replied, as Sakuya and Marisa used whatever they had left on them to defend Reimu. As Sanae collapsed from exhaustion, Mokou barely had enough energy to catch the worn out Sanae, as the youkais closed in on them.

Nue just hovered in mid air, not deciding, what she should do at this very moment. _"Those Humans don't seem to have long to live."_ She thought to herself, with a sad expression.

"NOW! EVERYONE!" Reimu had finished her preparations and shouted the command, and the four other humans gathered around Reimu.

Flandre and Koishi made a direct dive at the humans, but was shot down by a trident, shooting laser beams, at them. "Sorry, But I gotta go." Nue apologized to the two very angry dangerous beings, that she just hindered in their quest.

Sanae gave the Nue a puzzled expression as she accepted the Nue's hand, "What are you doing, friend?"

"I wanna join!" Nue just replied as she was about to be assaulted by a vampire and a satori.

Then… It happened. The five humans… Plus Nue, were sent away in a stream of light.

* * *

When they opened their eyes a bit later, they found themselves in a small shrine, looking a bit similar to Reimu's, but it was filled with boxes and trash.

"Ouch!" All of them echoed, as they tumbled on the pile of boxes on top of eachother.

"Who the HELL throws garbage in a shrine!?" Reimu uttered irritatedly as she tried to get up.

"Someone who doesn't like shrines…?" Marisa grinned as she lied flat on a box and tried to get up, but with both Sanae and Sakuya lying on top of her, this proved to be fruitless.

"Where are we?" Sakuya asked as she got up.

As Reimu got free of the boxes and the exhausted Mokou, she replied. "The other side of the shrine barrier. I believe this is called Kyoto."

"I am... Back... This where i grew up!" Sanae squeed upon realization.

Mokou got up and looked around. "We are back in Japan, It feels like a lifetime ago, No wait… _several_ lifetimes."

Sakuya suddenly realized. "Reimu? Did you send us into the human world?"

"I send us all, to the other side of my ancestors' barrier... so you are correct." Reimu informed them to the best of her knowledge.

"So we are in _Human Land!_ ...ps, no youkais allowed *ZE*" Marisa exclaimed followed by her trademark statement.

As they all got up and began to look around to get an idea of their surroundings. "Hi Tomoko, it's your turn to sweep the entrance." Another short, red-white shrine maiden called, looking at Reimu with a sweet, but demanding expression.

Reimu turned around to see a short girl looking irritatedly at her, only to reply with a short. "Who?"

"OH! Sorry, I believed you were someone else." The girl apologized and went away slightly embarrassed.

"Excuse me, can you tell me where we are?" Sakuya called after the little, light red shrine maiden.

The girl gave a puzzled expression in return. "You don't know where you are?"

"We're pilgrims, who got lost, *ZE*" Marisa just threw in, for the fun of it.

"You… Don't look like the usual pilgrims we get here. Did you come from a cosplay show?" the girl replied a bit confused.

"What's cosplay?" Reimu asked curiously.

"Ooh. I Know, I know. Before we traveled to Gensokyo I've seen a few cosplays in Akiba… It's actually surprising how similar Akiba fashion is to how we dress back home." Sanae extrapolated excitedly.

"I think you scared the little girl away." Mokou pointed out, as the girl in question had slowly backed away while Sanae was talking, and was now visibly running in the distance.

"People are shy here it seems." Sakuya nodded.

"Great, now who's going to give us directions." Reimu irritatedly pointed out.

"Oh, oh, I will, _I will!"_ It was with a raised hand and an excited grin on her face that Sanae volunteered, "We're at the Fushimi Inari Taisha. I was here with Suwako & Kanako here once on a visit to the deity here. Funny individual that kami."

Reimu sighed deeply and added with sarcastic snark, "Well then, lead the way, oh wise and powerful."

"It seems to me, that we are missing a person, or am I mistaken?" Sakuya observed as she looked around.

"Oh yeah! Where did miss alien go?" Sanae asked as she too looked around.

"You mean Nue," Reimu corrected her green counterpart. then she realized a problem. "Oh no, we have to find her! She is not supposed to run around in the human world."

"That's bad because? If we see her act bad, we beat her to cinders *ZE*," Marisa asked and counter argued.

Reimu sighed, "Youkai's aren't allowed in the human world... Then again, that's technically Yukari's problem, so….ehh."

"So we wait and see," Sakuya concluded.

"Alright, let me show you to the main shrine." Sanae erupted in joy and led the charge.

As they walked among themselves, they got a number of curious glances from the various amount of people who walked past them.

The first thing Reimu noticed as she looked upon the shrine for the Fox God, was the sheer amount of visitors, this shrine had. "If only I had this many visitors… I might not be poor."

"Ooh, do I hear _jealousy…_ 'wink' 'wink'" Marisa nudged her friend with an elbow.

"No, it's more _envy_ than jealousy." Reimu pointed out, "and would you stop that prodding."

"This shrine is marvelous!" Sakuya admired in wonder.

Mokou began to feel a little claustrophobic in these crowds, as a resident forest hermit, she was not accustomed to being around large groups of people, "God dammit, there are lots of people."

"This Shrine is very famous, both locally and worldwide... Also one of the few who still hold a divine presence." Sanae told them as a matter of fact.

"It sure makes me want to be a believer." Sakuya commented, as the awe factor hadn't left her quite yet.

"Ooh I know where we should go next! Old home here _we_ come." Sanae excitedly leaped into the air with the rest of the group following them.

As they began to fly, a passersby saw them and shouted, "Look they are flying! Are they possessed by demons!?"

Mokou had a sudden recollection, "Oh, that's right, everyone let's land over by those trees."

"I forgot to mention, people do not fly in the outside world and we really shouldn't cause a scene!" Sanae pointed out as they landed behind a number of bamboos.

"Does it mean we have to walk all the time?" Marisa asked, getting moody at the idea of foot travel.

"Unless you know a spell that makes us invisible, yes." Sanae replied with a wink.

Marisa was about to explain, _in great detail,_ that she knew a dozen invisibility spells, but Reimu caught her off and nodded in agreement, to get this over with quickly, "We came here to escape, let's not make ourselves _too_ noticeable."

"That also means that we should get some new clothes to blend in with people of this world," Sakuya added.

"But _first_ , there is a place I want to see. And from there we can probably get help to continue." Sanae suggested chipperly.

"If you are sure about that, then we will follow." Mokou added. And then they followed Sanae to the inner part of the city of Kyoto.


	5. Episode 5: Exploring the City

**Touhou miss adventure**

Episode 5: Exploring the City

* * *

KYOTO: Yasaka shrine. Midday

"Finally home!" Sanae erupted, to the surprise of everyone; when she noticed them staring at her, she clarified, "This is Yasaka Shrine, the original shrine that is."

From the distance they all heard a female voice yell, "Look girls, Sanae is here!"

Sanae found herself surrounded by three similar dressed shrine maidens, "Kagami! Tatsumiya! Nozomi! I have missed you girls. You have all grown up." She exclaimed in joy, while hugging the three girls one after another, startling the girls quite a bit.

"Have you become our new goddess?" Tatsumiya snickered at the joke.

Sanae was about to speak but Marisa was quicker, "No… Because I, Marisa. The supreme goddess of Magic has arised. All bow before me! *ZE*"

"...Is she serious, Sanae?" Nozomi asked, while glancing at Marisa.

Reimu sighed before uttering, "No, that's just her ego, she isn't that amazing."

"She is only the supreme goddess of crazy wives… Which is an achievement I might add." Mokou pointed out, as a humorous matter of fact.

"Oh Come on, if I was a god, you would all worship me… Right?" Marisa asked hopefully, but the negligible expression that appeared on everyone's faces, crushed her dreams instantly.

"Sanae... If I may ask, why did you came back to us?" Kagami asked, as this sudden appearance seemed odd to her.

"Well… My friend Reimu 'right there', sent us here… to escape a _horde_ of monstrous _wives_ , yes it sounds crazy when I say it out loud." Sanae tried explain, but her old friends just seemed very confused.

"Wives? Are same-sex couples recognized where you live right now?" Tatsumiya wondered what kind of country Sanae moved to, for it to be so different.

"Are you _all_ getting married?" Kagami asked, wondering if a congratulation was in order.

" _No_ , just Marisa, she has a whole _horde_ of them waiting for her at home." Reimu informed them offhandedly, while grinning.

"Polygamy?!" That was beyond the three shrine maidens' wit to comprehend.

"And now you know why I left… *ZE*" Marisa grinned while explaining.

"Were you forced, What happened to you?" Tatsumiya asked profoundly, this seemed sinister in her mind.

"No, I was drunk, when I proposed to them." Marisa proclaimed with no hint of remorse, "All in the same night too."

The three japanese residents, just looked at this yellow-haired witch-dressed person, like she was completely without reason or sanity.

To defuse the situation. Sakuya began telling them a little white lie."You see girls. Marisa comes from another culture, it can be difficult to understand their customs, Even we don't fully comprehend her."

"I had a funny childhood, you don't want to know what happened when I turned eighteen..." Marisa smiled while nefariously glancing around to everyone.

The three Kyoto residents, came to the conclusion, that the less they knew, the better their sanity would survive.

"Anyway, do you know any place where we can rest?" Mokou asked, as getting settled down would be first priority at the moment.

"And eat… I'm quite hungry, we hadn't eaten for a day." Reimu added in a tired voice.

"Well that depends on how much money you people have?" Kagami asked, as she believed they could stay nearby for very little money.

The group of five looked through their pockets and showed their various coins and notes, with Reimu saying. "How much do we have?"

"How old are these yen notes, I have never seen them before?" Tatsumiya asked, puzzled by the ancient looking yen.

"Old?" Mokou asked confused, last time she was in the human would, they used gold coins.

"I'm thrifty and save money wherever I can." Reimu assured all of them, in a pride tone of voice.

Kagami looked at their combined amount of money. "...ow, that's in the low end of things… but there _are_ a few places nearby, where you can stay for this much."

"And I'll take you all to dinner, my family has as restaurant nearby." Tatsumiya offered them all, as a treat.

That got the five newcomers immediate interest. "Really! All for free?" Reimu asked, hoping that was indeed the case.

"If you're willing to help clean up after it." Tatsumiya offered them, "Besides, friends of Sanae are friends of mine."

With one shared look, everyone was on with that idea, "Food. here. _we. come~_ " Marisa jubilantly cheered as they all traveled to the center of the city...or on the other side of street as it were, but it felt like so much more.

* * *

At the Ramen store Izuju

All of them got handed out their meal in form of a large bowl of ramen.

Everyone ate to their heart's content, to the point when both Reimu and Mokou asked for seconds.

Afterwards. Sakuya expertly helped out with the cleaning. The owner was extremely perplexed, when they came home to see this young maid cleaning their entire building, "Your maid-looking friend has cleaned _everything_!" The mother and father echoed in unison as they entered.

"Well I'm used to cleaning a mansion, this building is child's play." Sakuya smiled to them, like nothing was easier.

"A mansion!?" Tatsumiya loudly exclaimed in surprise.

"I was the head maid employed by a noble family… Well I was." Sakuya truthfully told them, with a pained expression on her face.

"I know your struggles in this economic downfall." The father sagely replied.

"Eh? ...Yes exactly." Sakuya giggled nervously a little, when she realised the reality shouldn't be told.

After the meal, all of the five girls from gensokyo, With the exception of Marisa, humbly bowed before the hosts and said, "We thank you, for your hospitality and for the excellent food."

After saying their farewells, they all walked to the hotel just around the corner… How very convenient.

* * *

At the bAKpAK Hostel

The moment the girls got their key, and entered their shared room, They all flung themselves on their beds, too tired to act dignified, "These last days have been _craaazy..._ " Sanae pointed out as soon as her mind caught up to her relaxing state.

"And exhausting." Reimu added in a tired voice.

"And a pain in the 'butt'..." Marisa commented in irritation.

Sakuya sighed in a relaxing tone. "At least we can relax for now..."

"Yes, savor it as long as you can." Mokou added and closed her eyes to really take it all in...

"Well hello~ Fancy to meet you here." Yukari popped out of nowhere.

Everyone jumped quite a bit, except for Reimu, who was too used to Yukari popping in and out around her, "Well, what have we here, good evening Yukari."

"Why hello darling Reimu…" Yukari was laying it on thick, just because she knew it would annoy Reimu, "I was just popping in to tell you how much I missed you… Also about this Nue that you lost. I seem to have found her." and with those words, she yanked Nue up from the gap.

"So you actually did your job, congrats." Reimu joked, as she was the only one to keep her wits about her.

"...Can I stay with the humans, if I promise not to run off again?" Nue seemed a bit shaken up.

"I don't know, what do you girls think?" Yukari levelled them all with a gaze.

"Sure she can stay with us." Sanae eagerly agreed.

"Is that wise?! She is a youkai in the human world." Mokou very sceptical commented.

"I saw her help us, when we tried to escape. If she behaves, sure" Sakuya argued in defense of Nue.

"It's such a bother though, can we just, _not_ do that. That would be great." Reimu irritatedly protested.

"I have an idea, let's dress her as a human. And if she screws up, we'll just disintegrate her." Marisa compromised.

After watching Nue squirm for a bit, Yukari relented, "Well that seems like a fine compromise, wouldn't you say. Oh before I forget, here is the latest of Aya's newspapers." She took one hand inside of her barrier and when she took it out again, she plopped a newspaper on the floor, "Have fun reading that…" and she left the girls to their relaxation.

It was Sanae who took it off the floor, for she wished to know what she had done, she opened the full article and read aloud.

* * *

 **Great Gensokyo Takeover and Ruined Dinner Party!**

" _Hello Dear readers, This is once again, your reporter on scene, Shameimaru Aya. After seeing Miss Hakurei safely off to miss Yakumo, this reporter got a tip about events unfolding at the Scarlet Devil Mansion. It turns out that a grand ball had turned disastrous. Therefore your ever vigilant eye in the sky, rushed to the scene. What I found at the scene was a heap of drunken people complaining about their lives. That in itself is not qualified as news, but some of the things said, definitely do. Among the attendees was miss Kochiya Sanae, who was talking about the Youkai Mountain Gods, miss Yasaka and miss Moriya. Here is her account, "I'm so tired of the Gods… I'm the one doing Shrine duty, I'm the one who cooks dinner, I'm the one who cleans the house, Why don't you do something you lazy good for nothing gods."_

 _Miss Fujiwara as well as her bitter enemy, miss Houraisan and miss Yagokoro were also in attendance._ _This reporter spotted the good for nothing... entourage, of the lying rabbit and her caretak- I mean, Senior at work. Therefore this reporter had better get the scoop quickly or risk it becoming common knowledge._

 _Miss Fujiwara took a single sip of her bottle, took one look at miss Kochiya and said, "That's rough girl. Should I take a swing at them, to make them well behaved?"_

" _Did you know that gran gran Suwako has this silly snort when she laughs, she even drools in her sleep." Sanae laughed a little, really her ancestor was such a kid sometimes._

" _Really, how undignified of a divine being." Miss Scarlet looked a bit too pleased at other's misfortune._

" _But that's nothing to what Kanako-sama does… Do you know how many duties and prayers that Kanako-sama skimps out on? It's like she is a NEET. (NEET is short for Not in Employment, Education or Training. Basically a lazy person - Editorial)_

" _All she really does is plotting to take over the world." Miss Kochiya continued her rantings about her everyday life, and dropped a bomb of information on us! Miss Yasaka has been secretly trying to create a revolution in Gensokyo, It seems that in furtherance of her quest for followers, she has decided to take the material world as well. This is call for alarm, and she cannot be trusted… "It's not like they are even any good as Gods, I mean, Reimu kicked their asses, that means her God is much stronger, Just ask Akyuu-chan."_

 _...Never mind, it seems miss Yasaka is too incompetent to be a real threat, we can all still sleep peacefully at night folks._

 _Miss Scarlet interrupted the ranting by huffing and propped herself up on her elbows, "You think that's something? Listen to this. We were making preparations for a grand ball, We were very ahead of schedule, so I allowed for Sakuya to take a small break, she went to the Hakurei shrine… but never returned and suddenly all of the fairy servants were gone too, leaving me with an unfinished grand event… That stunt really made me lose face."_

 _This went back and forth until some guests decided to leave, at which point miss Scarlet moved closer to miss Kochiya, "Hey Green Miko. I feel frustrated, would you kindly donate some blood?"_

" _Ohh, I've alway wondered if a vampire was like in the movies, do you have to bite my neck?"_

" _Let's find out shall we? Let's make a game out of it, since you're so curious and all... Flandre, time for a light dessert~" This reporter had to avert her eyes for what happened next...But the thirst for knowledge made me continue to watch, It was not so much feeding as it was… playing, and some of the places that got nipped at made miss Kochiya make some interesting sounds that are best not recreated. At one point the vampires got a little too into the biting, so it turned a little dangerous for the maiden, and she fled as fast as she could, the vampires did not pursuit, but instead began laughing loudly and hammering the floor with their fists, "Flandre did you see her face. Ahaahahaa."_

 _As a gift for the interviews, This reporter let it slip to the mistress of the house where her servants were last seen, then flew after miss Kochiya in a hurry. That turned out to be somewhat pointless, as miss Kochiya had just crashed at the nearest human settlement for the night, though her choice of sleeping spot still has this reporter baffled, since it was a human kindergarten. This has been your reporter Shameimaru Aya, reporting the truth._

* * *

After they finished reading it, they all felt really ticked off, "I'm gonna cook that tengu… over a gentle fire so that she cooks evenly." Sakuya had a dangerous smiling face.

"Oh, so that's what happened, That's rather tame, I was expecting something more _racy_." Sanae breathed a sigh of relief.

All of the other girls looked at her, disbelief in their eyes, "...Come again?"

"I'm originally from here and worse things happen here, than it does in Gensokyo." Sanae gave a small shrug on her shoulders.

"...The less we talk about that, the better." Reimu sighed heavily and then shot one glance at Sanae, "And what do you mean tame, you destroyed a lot of belief in your gods..."

"Oh...Right, almost missed that part, so that's why I'm homeless." Sanae made a chagrined face, as the realization dawned on her.

"...Reimu's right, Let's focus on this tengu instead." Mokou ignored Sanae's antics and focused on the matter at hand.

"That crow… I betcha she doesn't know what being written about feels like…" A giant smirk spread itself on Marisa's face, "Girls, I have an idea for when we go back. I have the best kind of medicine in mind."

"...Revenge." They all said in unison to Marisa's idea.


	6. Episode 6: Planning

**Touhou miss adventure**

Episode 6: Planning

* * *

After a good night's rest, They all decided that a bath was probably a good idea on top of the intense fighting that took place, so they went to the public bath, to get clean.

With a heavy sigh, Mokou began soaping herself, "My muscles are so stiff, It's like I had a full body workout, How's everyone else?"

"Felt better..." Reimu mumbled, as she too was cleaning her skin.

Sakuya sighed as she stated her mind, "Physically I feel okay, mentally… exhausted."

"I am doing amazing, unlike you lot." Marisa flashed all of them a smile, that is, until Sanae poked her in the sides and Marisa visibly flinched away and fell off her bathing stool, "Ouch…"

They all fell silent while they looked at Marisa's pathetic display, "...I can't get up girls…"

Sanae giggled at her mischievously, "You can't get up can you? This is perfect… Tickling Time!"

"No! STOP!... REEIIIMU! HEEELP!" Marisa screamed in spasms, as she was tortured by tickling.

Sakuya couldn't decide if she should intervene or do nothing, but with one look from Reimu she let it pass.

"I'll let the children play over there…" Reimu said as she went into the water pool in the middle of the room.

After the laughter died down, Mokou joined Reimu in the pool, "It's nice to not have to draw the water myself before having a bath."

"It sure is… by the way, can you heat the water up a bit Mokou-san?" Reimu almost made puppy dog eyes when she asked.

"My powers aren't for something so trivial… But I also want the water to be hotter, so this time I'll relent and do it…" With a little sigh Mokou began heating up the water.

"My! The water sure is warm." Sakuya stated in surprise, as she too entered the water.

Then Nue appeared above the pool and was just about to dive in from the air.

"Clean yourself before entering the water!" Came it immediately from the humans.

"Err… how?" Nue asked confused, she usually got herself clean in the water, not out of it.

"OH! Let me show you!" Sanae eagerly wanted to assist her new friend. "You aliens don't know human customs yet."

Marisa who was completely exhausted from the tickling, just weakly added, "Make... sure to clean her weird wings for fleas."

Sanae was quite enthusiastic about cleaning Nue at first, especially her strange blue and red curvy wing-like appendages. Since this was an opportunity to embarrass the alien… However, since Nue said nothing and didn't shy away, it grew boring very quickly, "Huh… It's not as much fun when you don't resist..."

"Was I supposed to resist?!" Nue looked puzzled, these humans were weird, but her freedom and well-being relied on their goodwill, "I can act like it, if that helps?"

"It just wouldn't be the same… but thanks." Sanae put the sponge away when she finished, "There, let's get into the tub."

Once they were all refreshed and soaking in the water, they held an impromptu status meeting. It was Reimu who commenced it, "Now that we are gathered here. Let's look at the situation at hand."

"Well, we have been forced out of Gensokyo by... _Wives_ , And a tengu is telling stories about us, that destroys our credibility..." Mokou summarized the facts.

"What can we do, to turn all of this around?" Sakuya asked in a worried tone.

"We flip the tables and destroy her credibility? that way all of her stories about us are seen as invalid." Sanae uttered, like she remembered it from yesterday.

"That's smart, of course, I came up with it. *ZE*" Marisa grinned as she claimed the rights.

"But how are we going about it?" Sakuya asked the obvious question.

Marisa smirked as she lied out her plan. "Seek out her rival, plant the seed of doubt among the masses, instant _success~_ "

"You know this rival of hers?" Mokou asked, The news tengu definitely had rivals, but who could they trust?

"I know of one pigtailed Tengu, she likes me already." Marisa grinned at her own prowess at coming up with plans.

Reimu sighed heavily. "I don't doubt that, please don't marry her _too_."

"I don't plan to..." Marisa smiled, she might or might not have plans to add a Tengu to her collection, while she was at it anyway.

"If she can help, let's use her." Mokou insisted, "The quicker we are out of this mess, the better."

"Now the we have an Aya plan, what do we do with the attacking spouses?" Sanae asked, this seemed the bigger problem at the moment.

"We could systematically eliminate all the wives one by one." Mokou suggested in a cold tone, _despite_ the warm water.

"That's a bit _much_ isn't it?" Sanae commented a bit disturbed.

"They _are_ Youkais... after all." Reimu muttered indifferently. Much to Nue's worries.

"We will be seen as murders by half of Gensokyo." Sakuya pointed out.

Sakuya thought for a moment. "Could we somehow persuade them not to hunt Marisa? I know Patchouli normally wouldn't go to many physical lengths to achieve her goal."

Reimu raised an eyebrow at the notion. "Are you suggesting that we just go to the Scarlet Mansion and ask her to stop _loving_ Marisa?!"

"I just think we should start with someone we know... not that I wish to accidentally meet my former mistresses." Sakuya had to admit.

With a fiery determination, Mokou firmly suggested. "I have a better plan, we take the mansion as our own. They forced us away, so we can do the same to them."

Everyone looked puzzled at Mokou, Sakuya in particular was perplexed. "We're going to take my old home by force?" Was this madness or genius? She knew not.

"...Wouldn't be the first time I've crashed there…" Marisa chuckled to herself.

"OH! It would be so cool to live in our own mansion!" Sanae exclaimed eagerly. "Hey Nue, help us take the place and we have enough room to build a spaceship for you to fly home in."

Since she didn't know what the human was on about, Nue just agreed with a simple sentence. "Sure I'll help."

"We will have to be darn sure, that none of the other wives learns of our whereabouts. Or we will be forced to flee again." Reimu stated pointly.

Mokou speculated on the situation. "Reimu, can you teleport us back anywhere on Gensokyo?"

Reimu shook her head. "Not really. It has to be at the hakurei border, but I could get us transported to the small forest nearby."

Mokou nodded in acknowledgement, "That should be enough as a start, but stealth will be the key, until we are inside the mansion."

Sakuya swallowed a lump in her throat, as she finally chose her side in this. "I... I know a secret passage inside the mansion, that Mistre- I mean Remilia is unfamiliar with. And while she and Flandre are powerful, We should have no trouble taking them down as a team."

"There is also the possibility that Flandre and Patchouli are still out looking for Marisa, which would make it all the more easy to invade." Reimu pointed out.

"I don't think Patchouli would be out looking, since her health isn't that good, but it's highly likely that Flandre is." Replied Sakuya.

"So two against six, piece of cake." Marisa grinned happily, her arms crossed triumphantly.

"And should there be more people to fight, we can always use Marisa as a distraction" Sanae grinned as the smug look on Marisa's face faded.

Reimu laughed at the thought. "That's true."

"Oh come on girls, that's not _funny_." Marisa cried.

Mokou too found the ide funny. " _I_ think it's hilarious... And more important, a viable option."

Sakuya could see Marisa was feeling a bit uncomfortable in this situation, "Don't worry, i'll help you." She promised, while stroking Marisa's long golden hair.

"Don't you be getting any funny ideas Sakuya, I'm a married girl." Marisa proclaimed with a big wide smile.

"Yeah! That's the whole problem. You are TOO! married." Reimu remarked profoundly.

Sanae grinned at the remark. "In other words, just continue Sakuya. Make Marisa divorce all of her wives."

Sakuya blushed at the notion. "Well I... I wasn't really trying anything."

"Am I ever going to outlive this event?" Marisa asked, fearing for the answer to come.

"As long as you live… We will be there to remind you. Right Mokou?" Reimu smiled mischievously.

Mokou smiled in turn. "I will be able to remember, for quite a few years to come. It'll probably humour me for a century or two."

"And suddenly immortality doesn't sound so great." Marisa commented in defeat, her shoulders slumping.

Mokou give her a knowing look. "Not if you can't live with yourself forever."

"Well that might pose a problem... somewhere down the line." Marisa mumbled mostly to herself.

Nue looked at the group's bantering and thought to herself, " _Huh… so this is the incident solvers… Frankly I'm not impressed, but they do hold the key to my survival, so I'll be nice._ "

After quite a while, the innkeeper came into the shower room, and was quite perplexed, "Shouldn't you lot get packing? Checkout is in thirty minutes, or you'll have to spend money on another night's stay." They all quickly scrambled out of the bath.

* * *

As they now stood outside the building, Mokou asked the obvious question. "So Reimu, can you get us home, or are you in need of something more?"

Reimu closed her eyes in contemplation, "I got what we need, now we just need an empty place teleport to us back… preferably somewhere unseen."

"The forest then, let's see if we can find a place, that isn't tourist infested." Sanae smiled.

And half an hour passed, before they finally found an undisturbed place in the forest, to perform the teleportation spell, "This place should do fine" Reimu stated and began the spell.

"Turns out it is really hard to find a secluded area." Sakuya muttered, her voice filled with tense restraint.

"No kidding." Sanae nodded.

While Reimu was preparing the gateway back to Gensokyo. Mokou was keeping constant watch over Nue, she wanted to make sure that the youkai came back with them.

To Nue however, it just felt kinda tense to be watched over, so intently.

" _So,_ Reimu? when are you done?" Marisa asked, staring at the the shrine maiden's ritual, or so it looked to her.

Reimu just cracked open a single eyelid to glare at Marisa, "I have just started, interrupt me again, and we will all be send to the bottom of the ocean, or into an volcano."

"Wait, Gensokyo doesn't have either of those?" Sanae put a finger under her chin in contemplation.

Reimu shot her a death glare, "What did I _just_ say about interrupting me!?"

"I'm sorry!" Sanae apologized.

After a few minutes Reimu opened her eyes and said to them all, "Okay, that should do it, gather around me everyone and brace yourself for the difference in environment."

"Last time we fell from the sky…" Marisa said… just before the shift and suddenly she felt a huge smack when she collided with something made of tree bark...

"This is just great…" Marisa complained once she got her bearings... They were all hanging from the branches of a tree that was overlooking a steep cliffside, "We should do this more often…"

"Really?!" Sanae asked, this didn't add up in her mind.

"No, that was sarcasm…" Mokou told her flatout.

"Why would you transport us here?" Nue uttered a bit perplexed.

"I didn't exactly have precise coordinates, now did I!?" Reimu shot her a sidelong glance, "Besides, I forgot that this forest is on a mountain."

"You forgot _your_ shrine is on a mountain? It's the reason only youkais and other beings who can fly, visit you at all." Sakuya stared incredulously, as she noticed the shrine nearby and she got down on the ground as the first.

"You mean the reason I never get any donations, is because my shrine is on a _mountain_? Quick! I must move the entire shrine posthaste…" Reimu sarcastically bantered. As she and the others got down from the tree.

"Alright, so, quick regroup at the shrine, or stealth towards the mansion immediately?" Sakuya asked, curious to know where they should go first.

"Well, I want to check if my shrine is still bride- I mean, _youkai_ infested." Reimu stated her wish, and added the correction.

"...Fair enough, Girls head out." Mokou ordered, as they all took flight, slowly and low did they fly, so as to evade detection.

The shrine was empty, but the bombardment, followed by an occupation of angry youkais had left it in a state of it still standing... but unlivable. Reimu's blood began to boil, when she saw what had happened to her home. "If they ruin my place, I will ruin their places! One. At. A. Time."

"I assume, it means you are ready to act out our plan?" Mokou asked a rhetorical question.

Reimu nodded very enthusiastically. "Yes, I want some _payback_!"


	7. Episode: 7 Invasion

**Touhou miss adventure**

Episode 7: Invasion

* * *

SCARLET MANSION.

After their stealthy entrance into the dungeon part of the Mansion, as they entered onto the main floor, they found Patchouli and Koakuma snoozing in the library. With Sakuya's ability to stop time, they abruptly captured the two librarians without the slightest hitch.

The little devil was the first to wake up and found herself bound from top to toe. "What's going on!" She shouted as she recognized most of the humans standing over her.

"Marisa! my love!? have you come to save me?" Patchouli asked drowsily, as she too was waking up.

"What are you talking about? She is the one holding the rope that binds us!" Koakuma informed her master and wife with a slight hint of acidity, "For that matter, _WE_ are married too, Patchouli."

"I thought we talked about this…" Patchouli gazed downwards, trying to dissuade the conversation.

Koakuma gave her a stern look. " _You_ talked, _I_ ignored you."

"...Should we just let this love triangle work itself out?" Reimu commented dryly.

Mokou nodded in agreement. "Seems like a fine plan."

Marisa flashed a smile at the rest of the group, "Let's go with that." Everyone were in agreement on the matter.

"...Why? Don't you like me Marisa?" Patchouli's breath hitched in her throat as a single tear ran down her cheek.

"I just, don't _do_ monsters." Marisa grinned like a cheshire cat.

" _Monster_!? How dare you address my wife as a monster, you _monster!_ " Koakuma retorted angrily in disgust, rattling her bindings as she tried to lunge at Marisa.

Marisa shrugged and smiled. "Hey, she is my wife too. *ZE*"

"But you just… _Ugh_ , dealing with you gives me a headache." Koakuma wished that she could facepalm, but alas, her hands were tied.

"Welcome to my world." Reimu shrugged with a sly smile.

A deep sigh escaped the normally quiet servant, "Anyway, what do you want?"

"We are setting out to get a mass divorce, for the… _lovely_ … bride over here…" Mokou almost gagged midway through.

"How splendid that you would start with us." Koakuma smiled sarcastically, before changing her expression to one of anger.

"I am sorry..." Sakuya apologized softly. "It was just... necessary."

"...It's all good, I learned after getting married that I'm a possessive person, and I don't want my wife married to other women, so I'm truly grateful that you came here to fix it." Koakuma made her claim.

"But… I?" Patchouli stuttered, but was cut off by her literal demon wife.

"No buts… you don't get a say in this darling."

"...And down the rabbit hole we go..." Reimu commented, followed by the question. "Now where did you hide Remilia?"

"Oh I'm right here…" Remilia whispered behind the group, just loud enough to be heard.

All of them turned around and took a few steps back when they saw how close she was.

"This is my mansion, did you really think you could just sneak in, without my knowledge?" Remilia flashed them all an evil glare, hoping that they wouldn't realize that she simply awoke from all of the yelling.

Remilia suddenly noticed that her former comrade Sakuya, was hiding behind Reimu, "Do you honestly think I haven't seen you Sakuya? I'm the mistress of Fate. I also haven't forgotten your misdeeds."

"Noo… I just… really like this shrine maiden." Sakuya tried to act like the Vampire had nothing to do with her situation.

"I thought you liked Marisa…" Reimu made a snark.

Remilia frowned disapprovingly. "Honestly Sakuya, you have no taste."

"HEY!" Marisa protested irritatedly, _such_ disrespect. The nerve of these people!

"Marisa? No she is already married. Reimu saved me from you, so I like her." Sakuya clarified for all them.

"So that's how someone gets close to you." Mokou added, as a joke.

"A topic for another day, it seems." Reimu purposefully didn't decline this development, if she could get a free house help, then it's all good.

"You're… not gonna let us go peacefully, now are you?" Mokou asked, in her opinion, a rhetorical question.

Remilia glared in return. "You invaded my home and took my friend as hostage… you tell me."

"Let's put it to a vote." Marisa said out of the blue. "Everyone that thinks we should live in a Castle say… Attack!"

Remilia barely had time to react, as the invaders swarmed her all at once, in a loud shout of ATTACK! While her vampiric speed saved her from being beaten down, rigtig there on the spot. It did not help her from being surrounded from all sides.

A storm of bullet hell followed, as the Vampire tried desperately to get out of harm's way. However due to skill or just dumb luck. She evaded the danger with grace and style, "You can't hope to compete with a high class lady, like myself."

In sheer ignorance of her surroundings and a confidence that was too high to contain her abilities, She failed to see the falling chandelier. It stabbed her with enough force to knock her to the ground.

"Did I hit _something_?!" Chuckled Nue as she came into view, with the largest grin on her face.

Before the Vampire could remedy her misstep. She was blaze kicked in the head by Mokou the Phoenix™

Mokou had smacked Remilia through a wall and shouted the following. "The target is down, I repeat, Target is down, seize her!"

"Yes Daimyo Fujiwara!" Sanae joked as she did what was asked. Though that was when it clicked for her, from her memories of history lessons, the name Fujiwara sprung up, and she took a quick look at Mokou, " _Huh, Well what do you know._ "

As bells were ringing in her ears, Remilia found herself being bound by a rope, she tried to transform into a bat… it didn't work.

"You are spellbound to the rope." Reimu announced, as she noticed the Vampire was frantically trying to escape from her divine enhanced rope.

"We got you now, bats," Marisa grinned widely.

To Sakuya, this both felt surreal and yet liberating, her former mistress was their prisoner, in her own house.

"I declare the Scarlet Mansion _ours!_ " Mokou firmly stated, with a fist raised in the air.

"YAY! I always wanted to live in a castle." Sanae energetically uttered with glee.

"Dips on the library." Marisa made her claim before anyone had a chance to comment.

"Why! It's my mansion! You have no right to claim my rightful home." Remilia righteously declared her birthright.

Reimu glared in return. "You sister destroyed my home, So I took her home."

"Does that mean you want to live in the basement?" Sakuya couldn't help but silently snicker.

"No! Why would I want to do that?" Reimu recoiled in abject horror and confusion, "Oh yeah, the little sister lives locked away in the basement, I forgot."

Sanae gave Remilia a startled look. "You lock your very own sister away like that?! Have you no sense of family?"

"I didn't do it because I wanted to, but it was more out of a need for self perseverance." Remilia angrily elaborated.

Sanae didn't buy it and firmly stated in return. "I don't believe you! If you truly cared for your sister, you would have found a better solution. Locking a problem away, is the same as giving up!"

"You have no _love_ you monster! Locking my wife away like that" Marisa smiled, then it turned into laughter.

Remilia just shook her head. "...Yet you're setting out for a divorce? Get her hopes up, make her dreams come true, and then throw all of that away, just like that… who is the real monster here?"

"You are *ZE*" Marisa winked at her.

Remilia could only sigh in defeat. "Why do I even bother with these humans… Getting captured by my food… This is humiliating."

"Hey, Don't group the rest of us up with the likes of Marisa." Mokou clearfield her dignity, "I come from a noble line of conquerors."

"I noticed!" Remilia muttered in irritation, "We have some copies of your dear old dada, in our library."

"Well in that case, I might order your librarians to show me what is written of my ancestry, so I might correct them myself." Mokou added, then she turned her full attention to the vampire in front of her. "Now of your fate little vampire, since you have locked your own family members in the basement, I see it as only fair that you will experience the same fate as your sister."

Remilia could do nothing, as the group of humans took her to the basement.

Sakuya knew where the keys were and the layout of the building, so she was the one who finally locked her own former mistress away in the deep dark basement, all the while ignoring the insults and curses coming from the former mistress of the mansion… The Scarlet Devil Mansion had fallen.

* * *

Later that day, sitting in the cozy living room of the huge mansion.

"This is the life, I could only dream of owning my own mansion like this." Sanae ecstatically exclaimed.

Mokou was happy to see all of her friends enjoying themselves, even Nue was seated among them with an expression of contentment. "This is an earned victory, this is how my father must have felt in his days."

"Could you bring us some more tea." Reimu waved with her empty tea cup with a bored look on her face.

"Certainly." Sakuya bowed and headed for the kitchen automatically.

"Not you Sakuya!" Mokou firmly ordered and grabbed the maid by her shoulder, "We are the conquering conquerors, they do _our_ bidding now!"

Sakuya looked baffled for a moment, before realization of it all kicked in. "Sorry, it's just second nature to me."

"You have been in servitude for too long." Mokou commented the obvious, with a solemn nod.

After hearing the conversation, Reimu corrected her demand. "You there demon girl! Get us all some tea."

"'As you wish..." Koakuma replied and obeyed dutifully, if a bit miffed at the tone of voice she was addressed with. But nonetheless she did what she was told.

"So Marisa, are you going to sleep in the library, or should we make a room ready for you? We have fifty four rooms to choose from." Sakuya asked, as the rest of the group already knew where their private place would be, including herself.

Marisa shrugged. "The nearest one to it I guess... I read more than I sleep."

Sakuya smiled. "Very well _lady_ Kirisame, I'll get koaku- I mean the demon to prepare the nearest one for you."

Marisa just smiled in acknowledgement.

A little later Koakuma, returned with a couple of tea cans.

Mokou was quick to react, "Before anyone drinks any, I'll taste it for poison."

This baffled the little demon who came with the tea, she only followed what sakuya had told her to do in the past.

Mokou quickly stood up and took a sip of all the cans, "No worries, they aren't poisonous."

Sakuya had trouble not to laugh, Koakuma had helped her make tea countless of times in the past. She knew that if Koakuma would poison anyone, it would most likely be Marisa personally.

"Well, so far so good, what is our next move." Reimu asked her fellow humans, plus a Nue.

Mokou nodded and began to speak. "Now that we have a base of operation, the next move would be to stop the flow of stories about us. Marisa, it sounded to me that you knew someone that could help with the problem."

"Indeed I do, Ehehehehe." Grinned the wicked Marisa while rubbing her hands together in an overly dramatic fashion.

"Very well Marisa, find this friend of yours, get her to commit to our plan. Will you do it alone or with help?" Mokou put that last part as a question.

Marisa though for a moment, until she realized she did not know where this reporter lives. "Eh… Sanae you know where everybody is in Tengu village... Right?"

"As long as we don't swing by the shrine and anger my granny, I'm game." Sanae nodded with a smile, "Oh! Let's bring Nue too, she needs to learn about the Tengu of our world."

Nue just shook her head at the last remark. "I'll come." She muttered.

Reimu too, had given up on explaining to Sanae that Nue is not from outer space.

"So what is the rest of us to do?" Sakuya asked directly.

"We are going to guard our new fort and protect against spouses that could enter this place, especially the one who also have residence here. And… if the Tengu Aya shows up, we need to make sure no one knows that we are holding up in this mansion." Mokou ordered them all, "We are not losing, what we just have gained."

"So take her hostage, got it." Reimu nodded in agreement.

Sakuya thought for a moment. "If we are this committed. We should take swifts to guard the place around the clock."

"Darn..." Reimu muttered a bit irritatedly. "Then again, I doubt our new gatekeeper is going to save us from an onslaught of wives."

Marisa smirked at the comment. "She hasn't been able to stop us in the past *ZE*"

"So, first light tomorrow, you're going to Youkai mountain," Mokou recapped, "I suggest you get some sleep."

"I could do with some shuteye, busy day." Sanae acknowledged with a yarn.

"Well, I'd better find some night reading." Marisa added and went for the library, her true love in the world.


	8. Episode 8: Holding the Forst

**Touhou miss adventure**

Episode 8: Holding the Fort

* * *

YOUKAI MOUNTAIN.

The instant that Marisa and Sanae entered the Tengu village, they were immediately bombarded by a couple of news reporters while the rest of the population stood and snickered in the background.

"It sure _is_ tough to be this popular, *ZE*" Marisa did a few poses that she thought looked stylish, but looked goofy and silly to the audience.

"It's _your_ heavy burden to bear." Sanae chuckled, "That being said, is one of these reporters the one we're looking for?"

Marisa looked around for a short glance. "Nope, No pigtails as far as I can see."

One among the many reporters asked the infamous celebrity, "Miss Kirisame, how _did_ you get the idea for your current social status?"

Marisa instead pointed up in the air while shouting. "LOOK! A UFO!" And as a matter of fact, there was a silver UFO flying over Marisa and Sanae.

Immediately the Tengu swarmed around the UFO and began taking a myriad of pictures, while the two humans bolted out of there.

"Great idea bringing Nue along, she really came in handy." Marisa said as they ran away from the paparazzi.

Sanae smiled in return. "I knew taking an Alien with us was a stroke of genius."

After a few knocking on random doors, they eventually ended up at the right one.

Hatake opened the door to find two people outside, one white and black human in particular, caught her eye. "So… It's you. The legendary womanizer. Do you have any idea how much of a scoop it's been while you've been missing? It's been _quite_ the story."

"I'm always quite the sensation, *ZE*" Marisa smiled with self absorbed pride.

"Heh, so, what do I owe the honor?" Hatake asked, followed up with a second question. "And more importantly, what do you offer in return?"

"How much money are we talking about?" Sanae asked, she pictured it could cost a hefty fee.

"Oh, I'm talking about information, Scoops, Leads, Juicy _Scandals_!" Hatake elaborated. "Preferably scoops that, that _DARN_ Aya hasn't set her teeth in already…" She grit her teeth as she mentioned her adversary.

Both humans smiled a sinister smile, when they heard those words, Sanae was the first to speak, "You mentioned the Tengu that must not be named, _because_... She has caused us bit of trouble, as you can no doubt imagine."

"She is a blatant liar, is what she is." Marisa proclaimed.

Hatake didn't believe the witch, but she listened regardless while thinking. _"This could be worthwhile."_ while laughing inside.

"Please don't leave me behind again!" Nue pleaded as she too entered the door. "It was so embarrassing."

Sanae took Nue's hands, looked straight into her eyes and said sincerely, "I am so sorry Nue, I didn't realize that Aliens could feel shame."

Hatake gave a curious glance at the newcomer. "So Nue eh? I'm surprised to see you among a human. You were quite difficult to track down and get a proper picture off."

Nue shrugged. "Sometime you see me, sometime you don't."

A few knocks on the door were heard, "miss Hatake, I have today's edition of Aya's newspaper."

Hatake opened the door, and took the newspaper with a smile and a thank you, she then looked at her guests and the curious expression on their faces, "I've got to know what my competition is up to, just so I don't publish the same scoops."

"But what does it say?" Sanae asked, implying her to give them the newspaper or read it to them.

"You can read it for us all." Hatake said and gave it to Sanae.

Sanae unfolded the newspaper and began to read outloud.

* * *

A Risque Wedding and Food Theft

"Hello everyone, this is your reporter, Shameimaru Aya, reporting in, Due to some unforeseen circumstances with the disappearance of the Hakurei shrine maiden, missus Kirisame, miss Fujiwara, miss Kochiya and miss Izayoi, This reporter had to resort to a different, smaller story. instead of a planned follow-up. The story in question is about the escapades that missus Saigyouji, neé Konpaku, was up to during the recent events. Now, missus Saigyouji and misseu Saigyouji were wedded in silence with a few attendees as witnesses, they were my source into this little affair, but they prefer to be anonymous. After the wedding, the newly wedded missus Youmu tried to pin down her wife right on the spot as the last syllable of their vows were said, much to the amazement of the witnesses, but missus Yuyuko said that until her hunger was sated, (which it will never be) she was not up for it, and thus missus Youmu went on a grand food theft spree across Gensokyo to sate her wife's hunger. When asked for commentary, missus Youmu would not discuss it with this reporter, and looked like she was ashamed of herself for her actions the night before, claiming that, "I was not in control of my own actions." Until more light has been shed on this matter, this is your reporter Shameimaru Aya, reporting the truth.

* * *

"At least we not the only victims of journalism." Sanae muttered mostly indifferent, while Marisa snickered in the background.

Hatake grinned and then grabbed some paper and a pen for some quick notes, "Now then girls, We'd better get to work then."

"You bet! Let's pluck a certain Tengu's feathers." Marisa grinned mischievously.

"...I'd appreciate if you didn't use that phrase, plucking our feathers is a _really_ grim image." Hatake firmly implied.

"I guess that's a bird thing, _right._ " Marisa grinned from ear to ear, while mock whispering to Sanae.

"That's rude Marisa! The Tengu's are a proud and honorable people." Sanae retorted, to her this felt like a great injustice, they had become pretty decent neighbours afterall.

To Hatake, this was becoming quite the headache, "Both of you, shut up! Are we going to do this or not."

Both of the humans nodded and their work began.

* * *

SCARLET MANSION.

Sakuya had for the first time ever slept in the scarlet bed and was now using Remilia's private bathtub. "I could get used to this kind of lifestyle." she smiled to herself, as she uttered a relaxing sigh.

A few knocks could be heard followed by the sound of Reimu's voice. "Are you still in there Sakuya? It's my turn."

"Just come on in, I don't feel like getting out just yet and it's big enough for both of us." Sakuya replied in an inviting manner.

Reimu entered to gaze upon the most excessively lavish bathtub she had ever seen. "It's certainly oversized for the little vampire, twelve of her could be here." she muttered and got out of her clothes.

"Could I tempt you with a glass of red wine?" Sakuya offered her as Reimu entered the warm water.

Reimu raised an eyebrow. "Are we going to get drunk while bathing? Why not, temptation succeeded."

Sakuya poured the shrine maiden a glass of wine and handed it to her. "Here you go, milady."

"Thank _you_ very much." Reimu smiled and took a careful sip, it had a nice fruity taste.

As Koakuma was looking around the mansion, she noticed the front door got slammed open by a little person who announced her arrival. "I'm home."

"Welcome home... Flandre... ah, umm… The basement is, occupied at the moment, so would you like me to prepare a new room for you?" Koakuma asked, with a slight feeling of dread coming over her.

"Really! I don't have to live in the basement?" Flandre found it all a bit puzzling.

"...Of course, you live here, silly." Koakuma played it off, in short fun.

"But what will my sister say?" Flandre asked confusedly.

"She... decided it was time for you to advance from the basement, she deemed you an adult when you got... married, so she decided to give you a new room as a wedding present." Koakuma's brain went into overdrive, as she lied her way out. _"Where is my human saviours when I need them!"_

"AWESOME! I'll go to the kitchen, I'm starving." After that, the little Vampire sprinted away.

Koakuma now stood silently as it suddenly occurred to her. _"I better go tell Mokou!"_

The only reason Koakuma had been persuaded to join the side of the humans, was that she had been given full custody over her wife Patchouli. " _If you keep Patchouli in check, We won't bother you two at all._ " Mokou had told her.

With Koakuma gleefully replying. "Oh! It will be my _pleasure_."

* * *

Mokou tapped her finger impatiently on the table she was sitting at, when Sakuya and Reimu entered the room, "Where the heck have you two been?... Wait are you drunk?!"

"It was warm, it tasted good and it was _very_ relaxing." Reimu mumbled in turn, as she used Sakuya as a crutch with her arm around her.

Sakuya winced slightly, "We _may_ have spent too much time in there, I'm feeling so sluggish."

"Just so you know, _Flandre_ has just arrived." Mokou directly informed them.

Reimu made a deep sigh. "Do... we have to fight her _right_ now? After being with Sakuya, I got drunk…"

"Sorry Reimu, I shouldn't have _tempted_ you so much." Sakuya apologized sincerely.

"No... It was worth it." Reimu looked at Sakuya with a tender look in her eyes.

"I think that part can wait till Marisa comes back, nothing is going down until that happens… Though maybe we should just _not_ do anything." Mokou concluded.

"Hey Girls, guess _who's_ back!" Marisa loudly announced, as she spotted her fellow gang.

"Ugh… you just _had_ to doom us!" Reimu remarked, as Marisa joined them.

Mokou took a deep bow. "I humbly apologize."

"Ooh, oh… Can't we just marry Flandre off to someone else? It worked with Patchouli." Sanae suggested with awkward levels of enthusiasm.

"Sigh… With who exactly?" Mokou asked and added for emphasis. "Name _one_ who would."

Sanae bit her lip as she said with a quivering voice that got more uncertain as she talked, "... Um… I would have asked Grangran, but I'm… not allowed near her."

"Someone who has no fear of death of course… Like you Mokou... hehe, get it?" Marisa grinned at her own perceived cleverness.

Mokou gave her a stern look in return. "In that case, I would nominate the one with no fear of responsibility, Marisa… your bride is waiting."

"MARISA!" Flandre lunged out of the shadows and attached herself to Marisa's torso, "You're finally home!"

"Mokou… every time you say something bad, it happens instantly, Every Goddamn Time!" Reimu stated in irritation, with a slight hint of amusement.

Mokou sighed, "And here I thought immortality, was my only curse…"

Marisa who was very much afraid for her life, pleaded to her comrades. "Uh, Girls, little help here?"

Reimu just gave her a tired look in return. "Nah, I'm too drunk to be of any use, so is Sakuya, let's call it a day for now, I'll help you, first thing in the morning… probably."

"Ple-please tell me you are joking." Marisa more or less begged.

"What's wrong, my love?" Flandre asked in her usual childish voice.

"You are… I'm not into small monsters *ZE*" Marisa uttered without thinking.

Flandre was taken aback by those words. "Oh... but I'm not small."

Some of the others looked at her in disbelief. "Sorry to tell ya pipsqueak, but you not exactly at eye level with the rest of us." Reimu mumbled in a half drunken haze.

"...I don't care for your tone, Shrine Maiden. You can just leave now." Flandre objected in anger.

Reimu was about to retorted, but to her surprise, Sakuya entered the spot light. "Yeah well, I also didn't care for you over the years, but hey, some things in life, you just have to deal with."

Being spoken down to by the maid was a bit too much for her temper. Flandre lunged forward, fangs and nails ready for combat… When suddenly there was an arm around her neck.

"HEY! You can stay up here if you behave, but any ruckus and you'll be sent right back to the basement!" Mokou firmly warned when she had intercepted Flandre's attack.

"...Don't think this is forgotten." Flandre was brimming with how much she restrained her urge to kill and maim.

"And you helped destroy my shrine, I haven't forgotten that either." Reimu commented in the same childish voice.

Mokou felt the little vampire was at the verge of attacking again, so she decided to make it all _very_ clear. "Listen Flandre Scarlet! This castle is under our control, _human_ control. We threw your evil sister into the basement. Be thankful we haven't send you packing yet."

"And leave me alone." Marisa added with a slight grin.

"That last one is the _one_ thing I can't do, Marisa…" Flandre scowled at her odds, and the thought of going back into the basement, now only with annoying company, "But I'll relent for now..."

Mokou nodded in acceptance, "you two can settle your dispute some other day."


	9. Episode 9: Suggestion of Romance

**Touhou miss adventure**

Episode 9: Suggestion of romance

* * *

"Ouch!" Marisa shouted in the middle of the night, as she awoke with someone with blond hair piercing her neck.

"Lay still my darling, I've haven't finished yet." The little golden-haired vampire complained, as her human wife was struggling to get free.

"Get off of me you… you _bloody_ vampire!" Marisa retorted as she desperately tried to reach for her mini hakkero.

"Bloody? I'll have you know I'm no longer childish enough to waste my food." Flandre grinned when she had finally had her fill, "Especially when my food is _this_ delectable."

Somewhere in the room however, hoovering and invisible, a Nue looked on, _"This doesn't look good! Better warn... somebody!"_ She thought as she left the room.

"I thought we talked about this!?" Marisa cried out, trying to win some sympathy.

"I told you, I couldn't give up on you, so I decided to strike when your guard was down." Flandre told her flat out, she then said in a more sinister tone. "I must say, you look quite beautiful when you're distressed." She trailed her hand down her neck in caresses, "This is our first wedding night _alone_ together."

"Darn you, now I'll wake up as a cursed vampire won't I?" Marisa asked as an afterthought.

"Now there's a thought, then I could have you for eternity. wonderful idea, my dear wife. hihihi." Flandre giggled in delight.

Marisa made an expression of pure dread. "Me and my big mouth..."

"Oh, I'll get to _that_ in a moment." Flandre replied an with a smile and then she licked her lips.

Marisa could do only one thing, a thing she had promised herself to never do... pray. " _...Whatever Deity will come to my aid, right now, will get all of my worship."_

* * *

Meanwhile in the kitchen. Nue found Reimu, now sobered up and seemed to be making herself a cup of tea, to help with her slight hangover.

With just one look on Nue's face, Reimu knew all she needed to know. "Save Marisa, got it!"

Nue was impressed by the way Reimu changed from a sluggish girl, to a warrior woman, in less than a heartbeat, and hurriedly moved along.

When they arrived at the room, Nue went inside through the wall, and sneaked to Flandre's right side, to act when a diversion arrived, so when Reimu seconds later slammed the door open to reveal a hissing Vampire and the comrade in a state of helplessness, she stabbed the vampire in the jaw with her trifork and as Flandre slammed down on the floor, she fired a dozen electric laserbeams at the vampire hoping to paralyse her in one go.

Flandre quickly sprang to the side and just barely avoided being electrified at once. Recognising the Nue as the person who also foiled her plan last time, she leapt at her with pure rage.

Reimu immediately took her shoot and throw a few youkai sealing Ofuda, it was followed by a screaming vampire on the bed with Marisa who together with Nue was covering their ears to such high pitched crying in agony.

Ignoring the painful sound. Reimu took a firm grip of Flandre by the neck while replying. "SHUT UP! You darn leach! You are going in the dungeon together with your dear old sister, you two vermin can live there happily ever after."

Nue and Marisa watched completely perplexed, as the Shrine maiden just dragged the siren-like vampire out the door and down to the basement, by _herself_.

"That's seriously hardcore for a human." Nue commented in admiration.

"That's Reimu for ya, I wonder - should I pray to _her_ from now on? Being my saviour and all?" Marisa pondered out loud.

"What?" Nue was completely puzzled by that statement.

Marisa sheepishly shook her head, "...Forget I said anything."

In the next second or so, Sakuya and Mokou followed closely by Sanae, who was all awoken by the loud screaming, entered Marisa's room and asked directly. "What is going on?!"

"Well Marisa was attacked by Flandre. But Reimu has already taken care of the problem." Nue told them one after another.

"Reimu… So resourceful you are." Sakuya said in a dream-like state.

Marisa looked oddly at Nue. "And here I thought you were the one that was screaming *ZE*"

"Marisa… that you can joke at a time like this, is unfathomable to me." Mokou commented with a sigh.

"Perhaps she laughs as a coping mechanism?" Sakuya put her head in her open hand as she pondered.

"You mean she laughs, to prevent herself from crying?" Mokou asked in return, while smiling at the possibility.

Sakuya giggled at the thought. "Something like that, yes."

"Why?! ...You sure know how to take all the fun away…" Marisa complained while holding up her hands towards Sakuya in disbelief.

"We take _your_ fun away, not ours." Sakuya smiled, with a glint in her eye.

* * *

Reimu entered the living room, where the others were getting served breakfast by their house demon. "Well that was easier than expected."

"Really? I can't imagine the siblings would get along in the same space." Sakuya asked quite a bit puzzled.

"They were both too angry at me to antagonize each other, but since I left them to face each other, I imagine they'll get to that part eventually." Reimu stated that fact with a slight chuckle.

"Too bad it's in the basement, I would have loved to sit back and watch them scream at each other with some popcorn." Sanae said in a dream like voice.

"What are popcorn?" Mokou asked, she had heard the term before, but knew nothing of it.

"Do you want to try some? I can have some ready in ten minutes." Sakuya offered them all.

"Ooh, that would be wonderful!" Sanae eagerly exclaimed.

Mokou looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Sanae, you're not gonna go down there and watch them fight."

"...Spoilsport." Sanae and Marisa uttered in unison.

* * *

Later that day, Sakuya entered the study to find Mokou reading up on a few Japanese history books. "Ahem mistress- ah I mean general Mokou. We have a bit of a food shortage, I think some of us should go grocery shopping at some point today."

Mokou looked up from her book to address the maid. "Well I guess at least three of us should handle the problem, Marisa should stay home and I don't know if Nue would or should go to a human settlement."

"I'll go ask the others, If they would join on our little expedition." Sakuya said and exited the office.

She found that Sanae was more than willing to help, as she needed some fresh air and shopping had never scared her away. and Reimu stating "If I go, I get to decide what we eat, correct? excellent."

And so Sakuya took a small amount of gold coins from the mansion's treasury and so they began their shopping adventure.

* * *

In the human village, as they were browsing at a few various stores, they were spotted by a certain blonde puppeteer, "Hello everyone, you've been gone for a few days,"

Reimu instantly recognized one of Marisa's brides. "Hello Alice. Just to be clear. We're not telling you where Marisa is and we're not letting you chase her down either."

"Well, I won't chase her down like last time anyway, I don't want this marriage to be one-sided, so I'll let her come to me. Is she safe where she is right now, though? I assume you know where she is." Alice told them in a calm and collected manner.

"...Surprisingly you've been the most level-headed of Marisa's wives we've encountered so far, and yes she is safe..." Sanae pointed out the simple facts.

"Of course, I'm the only one with the skills of a proper wife." Alice stated. "And could you please tell Marisa to come home when she is ready. Leaving me alone like that, makes me so lonely."

Reimu sighed before uttering. "...Perhaps when all of these shenanigans are over and all of the other potential candidates have withdrawn."

Alice slumped her shoulders a little, "...I suppose."

"Secondly, have you seen Marisa's family history? You do realize that she is afraid of settling down and become part of a family because of that?" Reimu told her flat out and began to rant. "The only reason she married all of you, is because she was infused with liquid courage. Asking the girl she likes to marry her, takes far more courage than she has. of course the alcohol also had some... side effects, and she overdid it."

"The girl she likes?" Alice replied, her voice full of wondrous marvel, her heart beating ever faster.

"She doesn't say it with words exactly, but the way she talks about you when we have tea, or how often you're on her mind, says a lot." Reimu explained the situation.

"If I may ask, why Marisa?" Sanae wondered a bit. "Reimu and Sakuya are just as beautiful."

Sakuya had trouble not to be slightly red in face. While Reimu was just raising an eyebrow. "And you just had to say that, are you trying to pair us up for some reason?"

"Had to." Sanae smiled in return.

Alice looked at Sanae with a determined expression when she spoke. "...She amazed me, back when we first met in Makai, at first it was petty comeuppance, and I was obsessed with being better at magic than her, so I tracked her down."

"Wait, that was you?" Reimu asked incredulously, "But you were just a little kid back then!"

"I may or may not have used some forbidden magic to age myself…turning myself into a youkai in the process." Alice looked away shamefully, admitting to forbidden magic was not good.

Sanae looked at Alice with astonishment, "That's what I call a determination in love, still Reimu should have wowed you too. She is _single_ by the way." Sanae giggled the last part.

"Shut up, Sanae. If you are trying to make me feel uncomfortable, well congratulations, you succeeded." Reimu uttered in sarcasm.

Alice giggled to herself at their antics, "I suppose it could have gone that way, but in the end I guess I was more magnetized by Marisa's dazzling personality."

"Hehe… Well Reimu have none of those." Sanae grinned for the fun of it.

Reimu shook her head at her green counterpart. "You're either trying to get on my bad side, or trying to imitate Marisa."

"If it helps, you are kinda _my_ role model now." Sanae told her in pure honesty. "And you are very pretty."

"Quote so." Sakuya looked at bit absent-minded when she responded, her thoughts elsewhere, and yet perhaps closer...

Reimu looked at her companions in a bit of a surprise. "Ahm… Well okay, fine by me."

Alice looked thoughtful for a second, "In the end I guess Reimu did wow me somewhat, since we still became friends of a sorts...That reminds me, sorry about destroying your shrine… I… was not myself back then, and it if helps, I'll work on restoring it too."

Reimu felt a sting as dark memories flew through her mind. "Oh yeah, you were there too and _suddenly_ I want to shoot you."

"I cannot undo the past, but I can help correcting my mistakes for the present and the future." Alice told her, and then closed her eyes and thought, _"Especially as thanks for putting my worried heart at ease."_

"Then put it back exactly the way it was." Reimu demanded coldly.

"Are you sure you don't want improvements? since we're starting from scratch and all, I could do that, no extra charge since I owe you an apology." Alice offered the red shrine maiden, more or less pleading for forgiveness.

Sakuya and Sanae looked at each other with glowing lights in their eyes and exploded in an avalanche of interior decorating ideas. "A large open kitchen, A large tower in honor of her ancestors & eventual descendants, A modern bathroom with a big bathtub for _two_. An underground storage room. A terrace overlooking the human valley and in the distance the human village. Lamp posts on the trail up to the shrine itself." They continued on and on for an hour or so.

Alice could not keep up with all those ideas being thrown at her, as Sakuya and Sanae took turns to spell out their idea for a better shrine, and at some point, she gave Sakuya a curious glance, since all of _her_ ideas involved two people or were romantic in nature.

Reimu who had always looked at things in a more or less a traditional sense, couldn't help but wonder to herself. _"Is this a good thing? Or are we building a palace not a shrine?"_ but she decided to nib things in the bud, "I veto any expansion that results in more cleaning and work for me."

"I can do those for you." Sakuya offered her service, almost on instinct.

"Really?!" Reimu replied perplexed, "At this point you _might as well_ be my wife…"

If Sakuya face was red before, it was now so red that it made her unrecognizable.

" _I_ think... you broke her." Sanae concluded at seeing the maid glowing red like a ruby reflecting sunlight. "If you give her a hug or a kiss, she might go into meltdown."

"...All in all, This is honestly the weirdest thing that has happened today." Reimu looked away from the others, hoping to not catch their staring eyes, so full of mischief.

"I think you're missing the point here, Reimu…" Sanae grinned and kept moving around Reimu to look at her facial expression.

"I was not expecting this, and I honestly can't deal with more drama in my life right now, so let's put this discussion _on hold,_ for now." Reimu uttered in defeat. _"Please dear god. I hope everyone forgets about this conversation."_

Alice could only smile. She had to admit to herself, that this was entertaining. But she also decided to put those romantic ideas into the expansion… just for good measure.


	10. Episode 10: Paper Wars

**Touhou miss adventure**

Episode 10: Paper Wars

* * *

Sakuya couldn't really get out of her romantic trance, so when a newspaper was sent her way, it smacked down on her head. It startled her into a slight confusion, she looked at the newspaper on the ground, after picking it up and rubbing her nose, she took a quick glance and she looked at in in surprise, "Girls! take a look at this!"

Everyone looked at her in surprise and Sanae asked. "Well, what does it say?"

* * *

Shameimaru Aya the Mistress of Lies and Deceit!

Hello Dear Readers, this is Hatate Himekaidou. Today I bring you a story about another Tengu reporter, who uses sleazy techniques to create #FakeNews. She recently created sensational news involving, some very prominent people in Gensokyo, and this reporter won't stand for such underhanded methods… The first danger sign is that she followed them around while they were intoxicated. They can't remember anything, thus making Aya able to make up fiction at her whim. #Blackout. This prompted me to investigate the origin scene of it all. Lo and behold, I found that the sake bottles were spiked with some kind of toxin, a toxin that amplified the effects of the alcohol. I found a few Tengu feathers at the scene, it is not unreasonable to conclude that the sake was spiked, so that the reporter could be making the news. #WriterWritesOwnNarrative

* * *

"OH! That is what I call written retaliation." Reimu commented in surprise.

"Now we did come up with a good amount of schemes she could use in her article, she made it surprisingly short." Sanae told them.

Sakuya pondered for a moment. "Perhaps it's to be on the safe side for eventual retaliation."

"Good point, I wonder if we have started a news war with this?" Sanae pondered, giddy with the prospect of gossip.

Sakuya shrugged slightly. "Well, only time will tell."

"We are wasting time here, lets finish our shopping." Reimu interrupted. "Sanae could you get the vegetables?"

"Yes big sis, I will do as I'm told." Sanae replied obediently and wandered off.

Reimu sighed. "My deity... what have I started?"

Sakuya chuckled slightly and said with a smile. "Well, this is what happens when you take care of and assume responsibility for someone."

Reimu gave her a look of dismissal. "Well someone has to ...At least, I'm the elder sister."

Reimu shook her head with her hands in the air, before turning to the maid, "And Sakuya, you are good with appraising meat, get us some nice strips of tender meat. I will take care of the miscellaneous stuff."

Sakuya bowed slightly and politely replied with a slight amusement to her voice, "Yes dear."

Reimu sighed ever deeper. "This feels like we are starting a family."

Sakuya just smiled widely, "Consider it preemptive training." And then she went on to do her assigned chores.

That left Reimu with the wide smiling Alice, who just said one thing and left. "Good _luck_ Reimu."

"...I do not care for you right now, Alice." Reimu called after her, to which Alice burst out laughing.

* * *

When all of their shopping was done, they all met and prepared to leave the village, As they got closer to the outskirts of the village, they got stopped by a rabbit, "Hello miss rabbit!" Sanae enthusiastically greeted her, and if Reimu hadn't grabbed ahold of her, she would have glomped the rabbit.

"Ah, Reisen, hello." Sakuya politely said with a small bow.

"Hello. It's been a while… have any of you perchance seen miss Fujiwara?" Reisen asked of them.

"Why do you ask?" Reimu cut in. While she did not see the lunar-rabbit as a threat, but giving out information on a whim, seemed ill advised.

"It's just that… The princess has been rather lonely, lately." Reisen put her hand on her cheek and muttered under her breath, "The princess sure has bad taste."

Sanae began to chuckle, "I know Mokou is _kinda_ old, but..."

"Kaguya is older then her, and Eirin is older still…" Reimu commented casually, when she got curious looks from the others, she elaborated, " What? I heard it from Kozu-chan, the librarian from the village."

"Ohh~" Sanae snickered, before Reimu smacked her in the head to ward off that topic again.

"Ouch Reimu! What the hell?" Sanae complained.

Reimu gave her a slight glare, "You know what you did."

"I do hope you tell miss Fujiwara that the princess misses her, ever since her disappearance, the princess has been revolting to be around… That love-sick puppy look is triggering my gag reflex." Reisen sincerely begged of them.

Reimu just shook her head in dismay. "Sanae, Sakuya… One of you can relay the information, I'm not involved in more love-sick nonsens."

"As you wish my darling sister, I will relay the romantic confessions of the highborn princess, oh my~" Sanae eagerly declared, with her hands clasped and stars in her eyes… clearly she was enjoying this far too much.

Reimu rubbed her temples as she regret her decision immediately, " _My God, what have I done._ "

Sakuya noticed the dismay of her red white friend and said in soft voice. "Don't worry. It's going to be alright."

* * *

Back at the Scarlet Mansion

...As soon as they got into the mansion and saw Marisa and Mokou, Sanae ran up to them and yelled at the top of her lungs, "MARISA, MARISA, MARISA, Guess what? Sakuya has a crush on Re-eii-mu-u!"

"No kidding?" Marisa turned to Reimu with a huge savage smile, "So Reimu, when's the wedding?"

This was starting to get on Reimu's nerves. "It's not me who's married to a ton of people Marisa, yet it's me who people are up in arms about, why? I don't get it."

Sakuya let out a heartily little laugh, "Now that my feelings are out in the open, I don't see why I can't tease you a little."

Reimu sighed heavily and addressed the maid as politely as she could muster. "You know we are both girls, right?"

"Well in that case, I know a few magic spells that can help, hehe." Marisa chimed in with a grin.

Reimu gave her a glaring look. "Shut up Marisa! just shut it and keep it shut!"

Sanae got a glint in her eye, "I actually want to know, could you tell me how to do that later?"

"Just don't use it on me, *ZE*" Marisa grinned, as her eyes met Sanae's.

"OH, speaking of romances… Mokou, the princess in the bamboo forest has been asking for you… pinning after you like some love-sick puppy." Sanae relegated the rabbit's message.

Mokou raised an eyebrow before speaking in a heavy tone. "Perfect. And now _my day_ is also ruined by romantic gibberish."

"I guess no one wins in romance...Except for Marisa of course, she hit the jackpot in one evening." Sanae could not help herself in putting oil on the fire.

One of Reimu's blood vessels was throbbing in her forehead and one of her eyes was twitching from having to deal with Sanae this much in one day. "Well I guess a Nue is waiting for _your_ romance... Why not go see her and leave the rest of us alone."

"Good idea!" Sanae bolted off before anyone could say another word.

"Reimu, I do apologize for all of this...I didn't intend for the teasing to go this far." Sakuya bowed slightly, to show her sincerity.

Reimu sighed and scratched her head, "It's fine, You're not the one who went on and on, even if they are _your_ feelings...I think I'll go to bed early, wake me up if something happens."

"You have my word, I will." Sakuya replied honestly, giving her a sense that not all was lost and patience was key.

* * *

Next morning. Mokou as always, was the first to enter the living room and sat reading a book when she noticed the green shrine maiden coming down the stairs.

Sanae could be seen with a red mark on her cheek, and a goofy grin, "Nue slapped me when she wanted to sleep and I just went on kissing her."

Nue floated in behind her before anyone could say anything, "I don't really understand what she did to me, but when I'm trying to sleep, it's just annoying and in the way."

"...How long did you go on for?" Mokou looked at Sanae with a certain amount of unease.

"...A while." Sanae giggled in an overly cutesy way.

Mokou shook her head while smiling. "If you want a romantic relationship that much, why don't you help Marisa out with her wives problem."

"Nah, I'll leave that to Alice." Sanae shrugged, "I have full confidence in her ability."

"What do you mean?" Mokou asked, not really getting the connection.

"We had a bit of a run-in with one of Marisa's wives yesterday, and she was surprisingly calm about it." Sanea told her and added. "Also she is rebuilding Reimu's shrine."

"That doesn't explain why you believe Alice could fix Marisa's wives problem." Mokou pointed out, but added as well. "But it's good to know at least one of them could be reasoned with and takes responsibility."

"Precisely because she could be reasoned with. She can talk some of the other wives out of it… not all of them, but hey one of the most dangerous wives is locked in the basement." Sanae elaborated.

Mokou looked at her with sceptical eyes. "If she can get the Yama off our backs, then I believe you. The rest should be somewhat manageable by ourselves, especially if we catch them one by one."

"If anyone can talk sense into the Yama, it must be Alice." Reimu chirped in as she walked in on the conversation.

"Morning sleepyhead." Sanae smiled as her red counterpart entered.

"Morning." Reimu yawned in reply, "So did I miss anything?"

Sanae happily began talking about her most amorous night, "Well Nue and I shared quite a night…"

"I mean something _important_." Reimu cut her off, "To our situation."

Sanae was a bit down from being dissed like that. "Oh… Never mind then. It was important to _me_ though."

"How splendid for you." Sakuya said as she entered the living room. "Good morning everyone. I have baked some apple pocket pies for you all."

Mokou gave her a side-look glance. "You still prefer to do it yourself over our house Demon?"

"Some chores are not really work for me, And I want you all to try them." Sakuya shone with a wide smile on her shiny face.

"So now we only wait for Marisa." Reimu muttered.

"Oh, I spoke with her about 10 minutes ago, she said she'd take a morning bath." Sakuya told them, while handing out the pastries.

"Alright, that gives us time to discuss the remaining wives, and how to deal with them." Mokou laid out the topic. "Can we agree on getting Alice to talk Shikieiki out of a fight against us?" With her companions nodding their agreement, none of them _really_ wanted to fight the yama.

Reimu thought for a moment. "Yuuka and Mima are our primary enemies, they are most likely plotting something as we speak, they are very dangerous, but nothing I couldn't handle on my own, one on one."

"I suggest we are never less than two at any given time." Sakuya voiced her opinion, worried about the safety of everyone.

"I agree with your suggestion, that seems to be the safest course of action." Mokou concurred with a slight nod.

"Are we at all worried about Rinnosuke?" Sakuya wondered, to her, he has always seemed so reserved about his person.

"The shop owner?" Mokou asked puzzled. "She has a husband too? No I don't think he is a problem."

"I never even considered him to be a threat, so it feels weird to have to assess him." Reimu gazed into the horizon.

Sanae decided to take part in the conversation. "So who else is left, that Parsee youkai shouldn't be a problem… Wait that Koishi girl? What about her?"

"We don't really know what we can do about Koishi... We don't even know if she's already here or not… Having invisible enemies is such a bother." Reimu grumbled.

"Who?" Mokou asked in confusion.

"Satori's younger sister. She closed her mind-reading eye." Reimu told them offhandedly.

Everyone fell into a thinking silence, everyone except Nue that is, "Someone invisible with a closed eye? I did find it weird that there is someone in the house that you all haven't talked as of yet."

Reimu's eyes turned wide open as she turned to Nue, her mouth aghast, "Why didn't you say something?!"

"I didn't know you couldn't see her, and since I thought you were okay with her presence, I didn't mention it." Nue told truthfully.

"Where is she right now?" Sanae implored of the alien.

"Watching Marisa." Nue commented, as she realized that might not be a good thing.

"...But she is in the bath- Oh crap! We gotta move!" Reimu had already begun moving before she finished her sentence.


End file.
